Yes, No, Maybe So
Contents
1. Sample discussions Are certain words okay in some settings or situations but not in others How flexible am I with what a partner might want to call something I like calling something else Why do I use the words for my parts that I do Relationship Models amp Choices Having a partner talk to close friends about our sex life ___ Talking to close friends about my sex life ___ Having a partner talk to acquaintances family or co workers about our sex life ____ Talking to acquaintances family or co workers about my sex life ___ An exclusive romantic relationship ___ An exclusive sexual relationship ___ Some kind of casual or occasional open non exclusive romantic relationship ___ Some kind of casual or occasional open non exclusive sexual relationship ___ Some kind of serious or ongoing open non exclusive romantic relationship ___ Some kind of serious or ongoing open non exclusive sexual relationship ___ Sex of some kind s with one partner at a time only ____ Sex of some kind s with two partners at a time ____ Sex of some kind s with three partners at a time ___ Sex of some kind s with more than three partners at a time Other ____ Other Sample discussions What kind of agreements do would I want with the kinds of relationships models I want or am interested in What are my personal values with relationships and simultaneous sexual partners Safer Sex and Overall Safety Items and Behaviors ____ Sharing my sexual history with a par2. in chat room ___ Cybersex on cell phone ____ Getting sexual images of a partner in my email or on my phone ____ Giving sexual images to a partner in their email or on their phone ___ Reading pornography or erotica alone ___ Reading pornography or erotica with a partner ____ Viewing pornography alone ___ Viewing pornography with a partner ___ A partner reading or viewing pornography ___ Giving pornography erotica to a partner ___ Getting pornography erotica from a partner ____ Other ____ Other Iam triggered by certain non physical sexual activities Those are Sample discussions How do non physical sexual activities figure into our my relationship agreements How big a role do non physical sexual activities play in my sex life or doI want them to play Birth Control Reproductive Choices ___ Doing anything sexual which does or might pose a risk of pregnancy without using a reliable method of birth control ___ Doing anything sexual which does or might pose a risk of pregnancy with a reliable form of birth control ____ Using emergency contraception ___ Having a partner use emergency contraception ___ Becoming pregnant ____ Creating a pregnancy with a partner ___ Helping a partner throughout a pregnancy and delivery ___ Experiencing a loss with a pregnancy like miscarriage or abortion ___ Supporting a partner through a loss with a pregnancy like miscarriage or abortion ___ Parenting with a partner ___ Parenting by
3. Feeling and being aroused with or in front of a partner Having genital sexual response like erection or lubrication alone ___ Having genital sexual response like erection or lubrication seen or felt by a partner _ Not having or losing erection or lubrication alone ____ Not having or losing erection or lubrication with or in front of a partner ____ Being unable to reach orgasm alone ____ Being unable to reach orgasm with a partner ___ Having one orgasm alone ___ Having one orgasm with or in front of a partner ___ Having more than one orgasm alone ___ Having more than one orgasm with or in front of a partner ____ Ejaculating alone _ Ejaculating with or in front of a partner Having a partner ejaculate with me while I m present ___ Having an orgasm before or after you feel like you should with a partner ___ Having a partner have an orgasm before or after you feel like they should ___ Making noise during sex or orgasm alone ___ Making noise during sex or orgasm with a partner ___ Having sex interrupted by something or someone external or your own body or feelings _ Other _ Other Iam triggered by certain sexual responses of my own or those of a partner Those are I like or don t like having or giving certain kinds of sexual aftercare like snuggling or reaffirming emotional feelings Those are Is what I we think of as ideal in alignment with what our responses and comfort with the
4. Vaginal intercourse receptive partner ____ Vaginal intercourse insertive partner ___ Anal intercourse receptive partner ___ Anal intercourse insertive partner ___ Having food items be part of sex ____ Cross dressing during sex ___ Having a partner cross dress during sex ____ Biting a partner ____ Being bitten by a partner ____ Scratching a partner ____ Being scratched by a partner ___ Wearing something that covers my eyes Having a partner wear something that covers their eyes Having my movement restricted ____ Restricting the movement of a partner ____ Being slapped or spanked by a partner in the context of sexual pleasure ____ Slapping or spanking a partner in the context of sexual pleasure ___ Pinching or having any kind of clamp used on my body during sex ___ Pinching a partner or using any kind of clamp on them during sex _ Other ____ Other Iam triggered by certain sexual activities Those are Sample discussions If I said yes to something but my partner said maybe what conditions might make their maybe a yes With a partner can we each live with and accept our no s What ways do each of us so far know we like things done we ve said we would do like to do Non Physical or not necessarily physical Sexual Activities ___ Communicating my sexual fantasies to with a partner ___ Receiving information about a partner s sexual fantasies ___ Role play ___ Phone sex ____ Cybersex in IM ____ Cybersex
5. Yes No Maybe So A Sexual Inventory Stocklist Body Boundaries ___ Having a partner touch me affectionately without asking first Code Guide Touching a partner affectionately without asking first Y Yes ___ Having a partner touch me sexually without asking first N No ___ Touching a partner sexually without asking first ___ Having a partner touch me affectionately in public M Maybe ___ Touching a partner affectionately in public IDK I don t know ___ Having a partner touch me sexually in public F Fantasy ___ Touching a partner sexually in public N J A not Having my shirt top off with a partner Having a partner s shirt top off ___ Having my pants bottoms off with a partner ___ Having a partner s pants bottoms off ___ Being completely naked with a partner with the lights off or low ___ Having a partner be completely naked with the lights off or low ___ Being completely naked with a partner with the lights on ___ Having a partner be completely naked with the lights on ___ Direct eye contact ___ Being looked at directly overall when Iam naked ___ Grooming or toileting in front of a partner ___ Having a partner groom use the toilet in front of me ___ Having my genitals looked at directly ___ Having a partner talk about my body ___ Talking about a partner s body ___ Having some or all of a disability identity or difference I have be specifically made part of sex sexualized or objectified Having some or al
6. l of a disability identity or difference a partner has be specifically made part of sex sexualized or objectified ___ Having some or all kinds of sex during a menstrual period ____ Seeing or being exposed to other kinds of body fluids like sweat or urine _ Shaving trimming removing my own pubic hair ____ Shaving trimming removing a partner s pubic hair _ Other ____ Other applicable Some parts of my body are just off limits Those are Iam not comfortable looking at touching or feeling some parts of another person s body Those are Iam triggered by have a post traumatic response to something s about body boundaries Those are that is Sample discussions What helps me feel most comfortable being naked with someone What ways a partner does or may talk about my body make or could make me feel uncomfortable What do I count as sexual touching and what do I consider affectionate touching Words amp Terms I prefer the following gender sexual identity or role words like man woman boi femme butch top etc to be used for me I prefer my chest or breasts be referred to as I prefer my genitals to be referred to as I prefer my sexual orientation and or identity to be referred to as Some words I am not okay with to refer to me my identity my body or or which I am uncomfortable using or hearing about with or during any kind of sex are Iam triggered by certain words or language Those are that is
7. m really are What parts of sexual response make me feel vulnerable or exposed Am I putting any pressure on myself or partners to respond a certain way Physical and or Sexual Activities ___ Masturbation Holding hands Receptive means the person Hugging in a given activity who is taking ____ Kissing cheek or face someone else into their body in ____ Kissing closed mouth some way and insertive ___ Kissing open mouth means the partner who is ___ Being kissed or touched on the neck putting themselves into ___ Kissing or touching a partner s neck another person Giving means ___ Giving hickeys a person doing something to r __ Getting hickeys someone else and receiving is 7 4 the person having something Tickling doing the tickling done to them Language for Tickling being tickled these things is imperfect Wrestling or play fighting though since any time we re ___ General massage giving actively having sex with ___ General massage receiving someone else everyone is the ___ Having my chest breasts and or nipples touched or rubbed doer not just one person ___ Touching or rubbing a partner s the breasts chest and or nipples ____ Frottage dry humping clothed body to body rubbing ____ Tribadism scissoring rubbing naked genitals together with a partner Having a partner s mouth or tongue on my breasts or chest ___ Putting my mouth or tongue on a partner s breasts or chest ___ Mas
8. myself ___ Paying child support for a pregnancy I co created ___ Terminating a pregnancy abortion _ Having a partner terminate a pregnancy abortion ___ Choosing adoption if there was a pregnancy _ Other _ Other Sample discussions In what situations do I see myself making a given reproductive choice if applicable How do might I feel about a partner having very different answers in this section than I do and how would that impact my choice to be with them Copyright 2010 Heather Corinna amp CJ Turett Scarleteen com
9. ring STI test results with a partner ___ Doing things which might cause me momentary or minor discomfort or pain ___ Doing things which might cause a partner momentary or minor discomfort or pain ____ Doing things which might cause me sustained or major discomfort or pain ___ Doing things which might cause a partner sustained or major discomfort or pain ___ Being unable to communicate clearly during sex ___ Having a partner be unable to communicate clearly ____ Initiating or having sex while or after I have been drinking alcohol or other recreational drugs ___A partner initiating or having sex while or after drinking alcohol or other recreational drugs _ Other ____ Other Iam triggered by something s around sexual safety or need additional safety precautions because of triggers Those are that is Sample discussions Are sexual history conversations loaded for me Do I have any double standards with safer sex testing or other safety What makes me feel some risk is worth it while another isn t Sexual Responses ___ Experiencing or expressing unexpected or challenging emotions before during or after sex ___ A partner experiencing or expressing or challenging emotions before during or after sex ___ Not experiencing or expressing expected emotions before during or after sex ___ A partner not experiencing or expressing expected emotions before during or after sex ____ Feeling and being aroused sexually excited alone __
10. tner ___ A partner sharing their sexual history with me _ Doing anything sexual which does or might pose high risks of certain or all sexually transmitted infections STIs ___ Doing anything sexual which does or might pose moderate risks of certain or all sexually transmitted infections STIs ___ Doing anything sexual which does or might pose low risks of certain or all sexually transmitted infections STIs ____ Using a condom with a partner always ____ Using a condom with a partner not always ___ Putting on a condom myself ___ Putting on a condom for someone else ___ Having someone else put on a condom for me ____ Using a dental dam with a partner always Using a dental dam with a partner not always ____ Putting on a dental dam for myself ___ Putting a dental dam on someone else ___ Having someone else put a dental dam on me ____ Using a latex glove with a partner always ____ Using a latex glove with a partner not always _ _ Putting on a latex glove for myself ____ Putting on a latex glove for someone else ___ Having someone else put a latex glove on me ____ Using lubricant with a partner ___ Applying lubricant to myself ___ Applying lubricant on a partner ___ Having someone else put lubricant on me ____ Getting tested for STIs before sex with a partner Getting regularly tested for STIs by myself ____ Getting tested for STIs with a partner ___Apartner getting regularly tested for STIs ____ Sha
11. turbating in front of with a partner ___ Having a partner masturbate in front of with me ___ Manual sex hands or fingers on penis or strap on receiving ___ Manual sex hands or fingers to penis or strap on giving ___ Manual sex hands or fingers on testes receiving ___ Manual sex hands or fingers on testes giving ___ Manual sex hands or fingers on vulva receiving ___ Manual sex hands or fingers on vulva giving ___ Manual sex hands or fingers inside vagina receiving ___ Manual sex hands or fingers inside vagina giving ___ Manual sex hands or fingers on or around anus receiving ___ Manual sex hands or fingers on or around anus giving ___ Manual sex hands or fingers inside rectum receiving ___ Manual sex hands or fingers inside rectum giving ___ Ejaculating coming on or in a partner s body ___ Having a partner ejaculate come on or in my body _ Using sex toys like vibrators dildos or masturbation sleeves alone ____ Using sex toys like vibrators dildos or masturbation sleeves with a partner ____ Oral sex to vulva receptive partner ____ Oral sex to vulva doing to someone else ____ Oral sex to penis or strap on receptive partner ____ Oral sex to penis or strap on doing to someone else ____ Oral sex to testes receptive partner ____ Oral sex to testes doing to someone else ____ Oral sex to anus receptive partner ____ Oral sex to anus doing to someone else ___
Download Pdf Manuals
Related Search