December 2014
Contents
1. President Nick Munday 082 740 2726 chairman ulyssesjoburgnorth co za Vice President Alan Russel 083 653 8405 vicechairman ulyssesjoburgnorth co za Treasurer Julian Middleton 082 464 6456 treasurer ulyssesjoburgnorth co za Secretary Lorna Gibbons 083 263 8252 secretary ulyssesjoburgnorth co za Marshalling Co ordinator Alan Russel 083 653 8405 marshalling ulyssesjoburgnorth co za Newsletter Editor Brian Taylor OII 791 1435 badgert iburst co za Editorial The Giraffe 2014 Econorun August 2014 Garden Route Tour Ulysses National info Julian Middleton 082 464 6452 Ulysses Web site URL www ulysses co za ULYSSES grow old disgracefully EDITORIAL Put more in and you will get more out Steve de Villiers Sound advice from a man who is now our Chapter Rides Convenor and a very positive mover and shaker within the club Steve started his working life as a chef in the army where he won a competition and after which he went on to work for Southern Sun in various places including the President Hotel in Cape Town and Sun City Now married with three kids he describes himself as a BEE Consultant a job that sounded to me as being highly complex and if done properly requires a good deal of skill patience and perseverance qualities which Steve would appear to poses in abundance Steve s first motorbike was a Honda 50 which he bought with money he saved working at a filling sta2. no you must be joking said Well when got back to our group Maryanne had ULYSSES grow old disgracefully Yuuuped once too often and won the auction The money was going to a good cause getting a girlfriend for Toddie the motels giraffe With all these prizes Roy came to our rescue and loaded his bike up like a taxi and transported some of the stuff back for us thanks Roy much appreciated Next morning we were up bright and early and after a cup of coffee we headed home The border coming back was a breeze took 20 minutes on the Zim side and yes the ZTA officials were there to help i 4 The South African side was about 25 minutes with customs wanting to check the top boxes Roy paled a See bit but they did not make pa f him offload everything ma The trip back was uneventful with us getting J home about 16 30 1 There were about a 120 people at the rally with 1700km being the furthest travelled to get there by a T relative of Mike H s a number of people came from Jo burg with one couple going on a KLR650 with tent and all We took sleeping bags and were glad for it Would go again Hell yes it was great fun You are a biker if every left shoe you own has a black spot on it from the shift lever ULYSSES grow old disgracefully Econorun 29 30 August 2014 by Lorna Gibbions Ivan and were late entrants but were given permission to participate We certainly did not anticip
3. peanuts We headed towards the bar to drown our sorrows to find that there were a few Hunters and that was it We went down to our rooms and sat at the table outside and partied with what little we had Nick saw a turkey sitting on the fence near the bikes and grabbed it thinking we could Braai it but was ULYSSES grow old disgracefully persuaded to release the lucky animal The evening cooled and Roy was narrowly missed by missiles from heaven or once we found a torch poop from a peahen sitting in the tree above US The next morning we headed off at 7 to find some go go juice and breakfast We stopped at the nearby Sasol garage refuelled and found the Elephant Inn a breakfast stop was in order as was starting to resemble a rake Breakfast was served but we had to have raw toast as the toaster was broken We also met a couple from the Iron Maidens on their Honda Goldwing who J were on the way to the a giraffe Breakfast demolished we headed on and after a brief stop for dop and cash in Messina We hit the border at9 15 and 15 minutes later we were heading over the bridge On the Zimbabwe side we had arranged with the Zimbabwe Tourist Authority and there was a Linda Bertha and Emmanuel there to help our passage and they were fantastic First pay the Toll for using the bridge then do immigration then some of us needed a visa then carbon tax and 3rd party then police clearance 6 stamps on a blue slip and
4. general store the store worked After a cold coke we headed back to Tods and joined the rest of the crew The afternoon had various games organised and Roy Fs led UJN into the tug of war gi which after a great battle we fie lost to the Bulawayo Black Eagles Well done guys Adrian entered the Slow ff Race and one both rounds Maryanne entered the Bokdrol competition using giraffe pellets of course with en coaching from Roy and ss won She also entered the Pa treasure hunt and won that pee 5 too Exhausted from all the fun a A E few went to sleep and others ae kept the little brown bottles company The guys from the ZTA that had helped us at the border came through and watched the fun And were given an award for helping out at the border The evening meal was springkbok spitbraai and warthog Potjie which all went down very well obviously with a bit of lubrication Note the spit braais were fed the whole day by coals that came from Maryanne s fire the night before When darkness set prize giving started and Adrian was presented with a Fire Extinguisher for winning the slow race Maryanne won a biking jacket for the spoeg competition and a lantern for the treasure hunt while Ulysses won vouchers for being the biggest club there went to chat to a couple of people when suddenly the guy was talking to said do you know that UJN just won the auction for the biker dolls for R2700
5. on time jj and the group of pgi Frans Roy Kevin George Adrian Nick Maryanne Emil and f Ann headed North just after 10 up the N1 at the Hammanskraal turnoff where the concession holders were kind enough to leave a large gap at the boom we headed onto the R101 The road was good and we made great time We stopped at Naboomspruit for a breather before heading on to our lunch stop at the Amarula Pub and Restaurant near Polokwane Cold beers were the order of the day but food choice rather limited The menu a chalk board on the wall consisted of Fillet steak and Chips Rump steak and chips and for the vegetarians Cheese griller and chips Deciding this was not what we wanted we pushed onto to the rather quaint Mountain Inn just up the pass outside Louis Trichardt Due to it being mid afternoon Roy had the presence of mind to check with our overnight accommodation what was on the menu for dinner and was assured that anything we wanted So a light snack was had by all and off we headed into the setting sun for Aloe Inn near Musina We arrived at a dark venue with no rooms allocated and told by the Receptionist waiter Chef room cleaner gardener they weren t expecting us and there was no food we could go to the Steers 3kms down the road funnily enough owned by the Same person We eventually got rooms which were clean and acceptable and scavenged through top boxes and pockets and found a few sweets biscuits and
6. surrounding area magnificent We found the pub and the food stalls what more could we ask for The day became night the music kept going the drinks kept flowing the conversation meandered from topic to topic Maryanne got the pyromania bug as per usual and lit a fire that we sat around and talked and drank the rather cool night away Next morning after a nice breakfast a mass ride was announced so we prepared our steeds and followed Gary owner of Tods in his bakkie a few kms down the road he suddenly turned right and headed down a steep deep ditch into the bush Adrian on his GS hesitated said WTF and then took the plunge I did a double take a GTL is not the best offroad bike but took the plunge and followed the very old road patches of tar followed by bits of dirt road led us to the old single lane low level bridge We swung our bikes across the bridge and wandered around taking pics from every angle Free ice cold brown bottle were passed around and we stood in the middle of nowhere under the hot African sun shooting the breeze Howie of Bike SA fame took a few pictures which I am told are in the Bike SA mag Beers finished we turned our bikes around on the narrow bridge and headed back to Tods Maryanne and shot through to the metropolis of West Nicholson a half donkey town but it did have a petrol You are a biker if your screen saver on your phone computer is a Motorbike pump and a
7. was fitted in a joint effort to Simons rear we continued to Oudtshoorn via the incomparable Meiringspoort Pass Pictures can t do justice to this pass with towering mountains closing in above most of the way through From here it was a short stretch to Oudtshoorn our next stop ULYSSES grow old disgracefully Dinner at the local restaurant included a toast to Len on his birthday Steve had pre ordered a monster chocolate cake which the group failed to demolish Day Three The Yotclub B amp B in Oudtshoorn was perhaps the best of some really good accommodation we enjoyed We parked off here for two nights rounding off the last evening with a braai at the residence ably assisted by our host Les The first and only light rain shower failed to dampen the occasion The day in Oudtshoorn was the first free day with some going to the Kango caves others back through Meiringspoort Pass to Prince Albert Des has his GS in action choosing to go dirt tracking over jai rie igs the Swartberg Pass to Prince Albert with a rather nervous Sharon perched on the back a The ride must have worked out pa well she returned all smiles we Mike and a few speedsters chose to do the Outeniqua pass which we were to do again a few days later Day Four Time had arrived to do the R62 to Barrydale only two hundred km away Most of the riders went via the N2 and the beautiful Tradouw Pass
8. with marshal Two feet on the ground v i k D di L aa a a T i E E 5 zj J Finisher medal Queuing to leave on time always clock watching b at a e me gt bee a All bikes parked after the second day Ww A P VS A a gy EZA E E EA waa a na La iT WPI f IN VWVrRiir Y i I VOL rh VC DUI V l NR a Ww amp oor y i TER NEWSLETTER Garden Route Tour 2014 by Gordon Collen Ride Convener Steve de Villiers Participants Cherylee de Villiers Mike Helberg Simon Carr Len Rodrigues Gordon Collen Linda Stroebel Des Jacobs Sharon Penhaligon Rod Macleod Lori Macleod Guest Andrew MacArthur Day One Agood omen at the outset we departed Beyers Naude Drive twenty minutes ahead of our 8 00 am target The prospect of 830km for the first day had concentrated the collective minds Great to see Kevin our Australian cousin at the start point at 7 15 am to see the rest of us off Much appreciated Des and Sharon were there in their massively impressive F250 Ford twin cab with club trailer and GS in tow The panniers and baggage for the entire group wentin the back with ease with the distances we were embarking on this was to prove a Godsend No pannier drag for the next seven days Phew The group arrived in Nieu Beth
9. 0 We left 50 minutes and 52 minutes later respectively was very nervous due to continuous warnings of don t miss turns make sure you are 2 minutes ahead don t arrive late penalties petrol added to your account With Marshalls lurking at stop streets and driving around in unmarked cars with video recording to check that you stop properly 2 feet on the ground keep 2 hands on the steering obey traffic rules The traffic department are only too glad to pull you over so that you don t get to the next stop on time You are a biker if your other suit is a rain suit NEWSLETTER F a It was bitterly cold and the gale force winds did not make the ride any easier Riding at 45 degrees proved to be very tiring The wind also ripped a rider s box off his bike another rider was lucky to catch his before it bit the dust Coffee and sandwiches were supplied at the first and second stops in Bethal and Piet Retief respectively The closer we got to ET the warmer it got and the wind even died down a bit The last stop was in Barberton with the trip ending 730km later in Hazeyview at Hotel Numbi On arrival the start number for day 2 was picked from a hat On the whole a good day of riding good roads and lots of comradery Bikes were locked away for the night Objective achieved managed to get to each stop on time and no wrong turns So what else does one need to do and what did I learn Keep
10. a few hundred rand lighter we said goodbye to the three ZTA helpers who refused any payment for there service 65 minutes later as we pulled away up to the final stop sign and boom Maryanne noticed some people waving wildly so she waved back oeae Il lM eee We do not stop playing because we grow old we grow old because we stop playing Never Be The First To Get Old when we stopped 75 metres later we found they weren t being friendly we had to stop and give them part of the blue slip Back we went and with a final show of our passports we headed through the booms and waited for the rest At this point George s bike decided it was tired after the long ride and lay down George departed his steed with alacrity but soon woke it up and had it back on its wheels The ride to Tods was uneventful in the 30 c temps with nothing much but barren lands the odd donkey cart wrecked cars and one toll gate on the way fortunately in Zims tollgates are free for se Tods motel suddenly appeared well signposted but in the middle of nowhere Signed in and arm band on we found our rooms with no windows or doors little A frame huts with thatch roofs with three beds in each room and although simple very nice and nothing more was needed After signing in and getting our badges and buying T shirts we found our A frame windowless cabins Fx and were soon attired something moreg comfortable and the beers i i pleasant and
11. ate the seriousness of the event sponsored by RFS Holdings but quickly got on board We filled in the forms and paid the R3000 00 each The cost included 2 nights dinner bed and breakfast at Hotel Numbi in Hazeyview entrance fee reflector jacket and a competition license RFS sponsored all petrol except for the first tank and the prizes worth about R10 000 00 and R5 000 00 The briefing and registration at Landmark Coffee Bar in Pretoria was presented the Sunday before the event There we got the low down maps stickers and gear We also had to pick our starting number Later we found out that it is best to get a lower number but we drew 50 and 52 for the first day Next time we will be sure to be there earlier Preparation Route schedule box Ivan spent many hours making our route schedule box while I cutthe map to paste in along strip Attach box securely on bike mirror tape cable ties presstick tape Google maps to walk through the route taking a wrong turn isanono Book accommodation in Cullinan Legalise the bike plates Ensure 7 litres of petrol can be filled by Marshall Find bike user manual for scrutineering number Stickers on bike and helmet Day 1 The event started with 67 bikes at the Sasol Rosehaven fuel station North on the N4 Highway eastbound carriageway After a Marshall controlled fuelling and scrutineering the first bike set off at 07 3
12. erylee who did a fabulous job organizing this ride which must have taken much hard slogging Abig thanks also to Des and Sharon who provided the back up vehicle Both showed extreme patience in the thankless task of loading andunloading pilesof baggage on a daily basis The ride was great from beginning to end and perhaps the best have done to date Finally thanks also to all the other members who worked together to make this such a memorable run bring on the next one Gordon and Linda Murphy s Motorcycle Laws Kamikaze pilots 1 A motorcycle cannot will not fall over without an audience 2 The fact your keys are still in your pants pocket will become apparent after you put your gloves on 3 Motorcycles are to yellow bugs what aircraft carriers once were to 4 Quick fixes are names for how long they stay fixed permanent backorder prospective buyer repair kit at home The only part you really need will also be the only part on 7 You will never suffer a punctured tire on the road until you leave the 8 Universal accessories are so named because that is where you must search to fine the bike they fit Be Smart Ride Safe ULYSSES grow old disgracefully FUNNYSTUFF FUNNYSTUFF FUNNYSTUFF FUNNYSTUFF FUNNYSTUFF Have you ever wondered what the difference is between Grandmothers and Grandfathers Well here it is There was this loving grandfather who always made a special e
13. esda at 4 45 pm after a day s hard uneventful riding Not bad after the lengthy excursion Steve and his GPS led us on in search of a Wimpy in Bloemfontein We all now have a new appreciation for the outer suburbs of that City Considering the distance covered most of us arrived less broken than anticipated Drinks and dinner were hearty Karoo fare Time was allocated for the following morning in which to explore the town no one was holding their breath Day Two One has to say up front that Nieu Bethesda I S not everyone s kind of place quaint old but slightly depressing as typified by the famous Owl House A must see for many this historic venue is now an international attraction but not something to put one in a party mood We had all finished our sightseeing in the town a half an hour earlier than the 11am cut off Steve claimed to have done the whole tourist thing twice by that time and had firmly decided that OS er grow old disgracefully this would not go on his list of possible places to retire On the way leading out of the valley we had our first problem Simon had a puncture but worse his rear tyre hadn t fared well on the trip down It was on its lastlegs had a brief moment of angst regarding my own tyres but then relaxed had had my tyres checked by a boffin our former club president before we left Jo burg He gave them the thumbs up for the full trip After a plug
14. ffort to spend time with his son s family on weekends Every Saturday morning he would take his 5 year old granddaughter out for a drive in the car for some quality time pancakes ice cream candy just him and his granddaughter One particular Saturday however he had a terrible cold and could not get out of bed He knew his grand daughter always looked forward to their drives and would be very disappointed Luckily his wife came to the rescue and said that she would take their granddaughter for her weekly drive and breakfast When they returned the little girl anxiously ran upstairs to see her grandfather who was still in bed Well did you enjoy your ride with grandma he asked Not really PaPa it was boring We didn t see a single asshole queer piece of shit horse s ass tree hugger socialist left wing prick blind bastard dipshit Muslim camel humper or son of abitch anywhere we went We just drove around and Grandma smiled at everyone she saw I really didn t have any fun EDITOR S LAST WORD Old Lady Biker Joke A little 80 year old lady had always wanted to joina local bikers club One day she goes up and knocks on a biker s door A big hairy bearded biker with tattoos all over his arms answers She proclaims I want to join your club The guy was quite amused but explains that she needs to meet certain biker requirements in order to join the club The biker asks Do you have a motorcycle The
15. little old lady replies Yep my bike s parked over there and pointed to a flamed black Harley chopper in the driveway The biker asks Do you drink The little old lady replies Yep drink like a fish beer mostly whiskey when I m shooting pool I ll drink everyone in your club under the table The biker is surprised but then asks Do you smoke The little old lady replies Yep smoke like a chimney At least two packs of cigarettes and three joints a day and cigars when I m drinking whiskey and shooting pool The biker is very impressed and asks Last question have you ever been picked up by the fuzz The little old lady thinks for a minute and says Nope but I ve been swung around by my nipples a few times Who gives the hand jobs A crusty old biker out on a long summer ride in the country pulls up to a tavern in the middle of nowhere parks his bike and walks inside As he passes through the swinging doors he sees asign hanging over the bar COLD BEER 2 00 HAMBURGER 2 25 CHEESEBURGER 2 50 CHICKEN SANDWICH 3 50 HAND JOB 50 00 Checking his wallet to be sure he has the necessary payment the ole biker walks up to the bar and beckons to the exceptionally attractive female bartender who is serving drinks to a couple of sun wrinkled farmers She glides down behind the bar to the ole biker Yes she inquires with a wide knowing smile may I help you The ole biker leans over the bar I
16. m near Trompsburg is situated at the end of an eleven km stretch of dirt road Not something to look forward to after 700km Luckily this is about as good a dirt road as they get so with much relief we cruised this last stretch at 100kph to a friendly reception from our hosts Just in time to watch South Africa give the Aussies a ULYSSES grow old disgracefully good thumping Never fails to lift the party spirit Another early night was taken by most before the final 540km stretch back home Day Eight Len was the next to suffer tyre woes spotted the previous evening on arrival FOUR WHEELS MOVE THE BODY TWO WHEELS MOVE THE SOUL 5 6 Nothing is harder to start than a used motorcycle being shown to a at Rietpoort Due to crosswinds and presumably road camber his huge rear tyre was warn at such at angle it looked as though he had spent the entire week riding around a right handed speedway circuit Luckily there was enough rubber left to make it back home As always the final stretch through Bloem and the Free State was a bit of a drag We were all in a hurry to get home now so most of us arrived in Johannesburg shortly after 1pm Andrew kept track of the distance he and the diehards thosewho did all the extra passes travelled They notched up 3660km while Linda and who did some of the extra rides did 3340 km and guess afew did slightly less than us All credit to Steve and Ch
17. t his winter riding jacket was stolen from his room while sleeping Day Six This was the second free day with some us taking it easy while Mike and abunch of the more hardened brothers set off for The Storms River via the old officially closed road The pictures of these roads as with the other passes speak for themselves Another two hundred plus km notched up Ka ching Both evenings spent in Knysna were restaurant affairs Transportation there was rather unconventional since the bikes were difficult to access at the Guest House we all went to town in the F250 seven up front the rest in the cheap seats under the canopy Both nights were pleasant and festive the first night at the waterfront continuing late into the night back at the Azure the second on the Island Level heads prevailed on this second night as the ride the following day to Trompsburg would be in excess of 700 km sore heads not a good idea Day Seven This proved to be the hardest day of the lot None of us were geared up for really cold weather Murphy stepped in and delivered just what we hadn t expected On the way out of the Outeniqua pass it became decidedly cool By the time we left Graaff Reinet and up through the mountains the temperature had dropped to 5 degrees C Mercifully we endured this for only about thirty minutes and by the time Colesberg came around it was quite pleasant again Our destination the Rietpoort Guest Far
18. the revs down remove parts of the bike that cause resistance keep at a constant speed duck down behind your screen push your bike from entry into the petrol stop until the exit point The average speed means you should go about 10 kms faster to make up for stops and traffic through the towns Don t get to the destinations too early that means you will have used too much petrol Day 2 A brilliant summer s day Ivan started off 12 and was number 54 Familiar ground Hazeyview gt Graskop gt Pilgrims Rest gt Robber s Pass and first stop at God s Window Found it difficult keeping the speed down and being passed by cars and even buses The round trip was only about 270 km but all great roads The road between Graskop and Hazeyview has even been patched The final dinner was an awesome spread and the prize giving well prepared came second in my class and 13 overall Ivan came 9 in his class and 39 overall Will we do it again Dawn right we will It was well organized to the minute the accommodation and catering were awesome and the challenge of doing better next time is inviting Bikes leaving on the minute r F k ai 1 r ra r dj Ara S F 4 yy i ay a 5 i t F a J fa T H F j a p N PT You are a biker if you owned three different bikes before you ever owned a car ULYSSES 40 BURG NORTH CHAPTER Se a oih a Final refuel and weigh in
19. then back through Barrydale to Ronnies Sex Shop where we had planned to meet Simon and the backup vehicle This added a hundred plus km but was well worth it the day being perfect for riding Simon was taking the direct route to conserve his tyre but in vain When we got to Ronnies his Ki200GT was already trailered the rear tyre down to the metal bands Many beers had been enjoyed by Simon Des and Sharon by the time we arrived mid afternoon After joining the party for a while we all returned to the Karoo Hotel in Barrydale for a pleasant pub night at the hotel Day Five More tyre drama My front tyre was by this stage looking rather sick so decided would have to join Simon and the backup vehicle and proceed with them to George This was the only place within range that had tyres and luckily on the way to our next stop in Knysna Yet again most of the group went pass riding along the way adding hundreds more km to their total We limped in to George where was told by the mechanic that not only was my front tyre dead but needed a rear one as well Hah No problem after the time it took us to have two quick beers new tyres were fitted to both bikes and we were soon on our way to Knysna Our destination was the Azure House with fabulous views over Knysna Lagoon and The Heads Two nights were spent here as well another inspired choice by Steve notwithstanding the fact tha
20. tion while still at CHAPTER NEWSLETTER proportions which looked to me as if it had so many electronic gizmos on board including a disappearing number plate that it could almost drive itself Steve joined Ulysses with the objective of meeting new people and very quickly embraced the whole thing with enthusiasm and commitment In recent times he has organised a number of Magical Mystery Tours and the most ambitious and highly successful 10 Day Garden Route Tour which as he succinctly put it gave me great pride and joy to put together As for growing old disgracefully Steve sums it up beautifully by saying do stuff with abandon Right on Yamaha two stroke RD 250 and E a subsequently two Kawasakis a Z 650 and 900 Later after a ee see gap of several years he bought Fea a Honda V1100 and he now rides a six cylinder BMW K Se 2 1600 GT a bike of awesome F N EWSLETTER The Giraffe 2014 by fter much planning and problems the day had finally arrived and we were ready to leave approaching the bike noticed a small problem maybe should attach both panniers Maryanne would kill me if left all her clothes in the pannier on the bed Fetched and attached now we were ready to leave Secretly hoping this was not going to be a sign of how the day was going to pan out we kicked the engine into life and off we burbled to join the rest at the Petroport onthe N1 Everyone was
21. was wondering young lady he whispers are you the one who gives the hand jobs She looks into his eyes with that wide smile and purrs Why yes yes I sure am The ole biker leans closer and into her left ear whispers softly Well wash your hands real good cause I want a cheeseburger If anyone embodies the motto of growing old disgracefully with style gusto and great success it is Mick Jagger Recently this Rock icon now aged over 70 and a great grandfather was seen in of the company of a stunning twenty something girl who was obviously his latest lover Jagger with his love for women has proved that there is more than one way to grow old Mick Jagger is a man who has the nerve to never change A Very Merry Christmas and a truly disgraceful lt Mew Lear to Xou AM
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