Session 5
Contents
1. Session 5 Discussion Points 110 Choices for Today s Woman What are your feelings about condoms Why is it difficult to talk to men about using condoms What are some lines or techniques that women can use to introduce the idea of using condoms If a woman really wants to use condoms how would I Messages help How would refusal skills help What do you think about the idea of female condoms What are the benefits of using condoms Outercourse Options Outercourse refers to a variety of pleasurable sexual activities that don t involve vaginal or anal penetration or the exchange of semen and vaginal fluid This makes outercourse an important safer sex choice Examples of outercourse activities include massage masturbation vibrators erotic movies and body rubbing Oral sex with a condom or latex shield may also be considered an outercourse option Outercourse should be considered a safe alternative that is always at hand so to speak It can be practiced when condoms aren t available or when a couple wants to add variety to their sex life For those times when a woman feels like having sex but isn t interested in penetration during a menstrual period for example outercourse offers an option Many outercourse techniques may make it easier for a woman to achieve orgasm because the clitoris may be stimulated directly Outercourse can be exciting and pleasurable However a woman may need to take th2. interrupted or if the erection is lost you ll be able to start again with a handy condom Have fun with your condoms Condoms come in different colors with pretty patterns even in flavors like strawberry and peppermint Keeping the condom from breaking Never store condoms where they are exposed to heat or freezing Heat or freezing can destroy the latex and make it break Store condoms in a cool dry place such as a medicine cabinet or closet Don t keep them in a Here are some tips to help make condoms more effective wallet or glove box of the car Be careful with fingernails rings and jewelry when putting on the condoms Nails or anything sharp can tear the condom Use only water based lubricants like K Y jelly Oil based lubricants such as Vaseline baby oil hand lotion or cooking oil can cause the latex in the con dom to break or tear Taking the condom off After the man has come with draw the penis while it is still hard One partner should hold on the condom at the base of the penis to keep it from slipping Remove the condom so that the semen cum can t spill on either of you Gently slide the condom off the penis Wrap in tissue and dispose of in the trash can Avoid flushing condoms down the toilet as they may clog pipes Session 5 Choices for Today s Woman SESSION EVALUATION OF TIME OUT FOR ME SESSION 5 THIS BOX IS TO BE COMPLETED BY DATA COORDINATOR FORM 67 CARD
3. 01 sITE CLIENT ID COUNSELOR ID 5 6 DAY YR 13 18 19 20 INSTRUCTIONS Please answer the following guestions based on what you learned in today s session Circle 1 True or 2 False after each statement 1 A man may need to experiment using different brands of condoms in order to find the brand that is most comfortable for him cceseeccccceececennececcccaueececceuseecenuaeeeeceuaeess 1 2 21 2 Abstinence means deciding to never have sex again in your life eee 1 2 3 Ifa woman wants to have a monogamous mutually faithful sexual relationship she must request her partner s COODTAfIOT 1 1E e EES EEEE SEO HH HH 1 2 23 4 Sexual excitement causes an increased flow of blood to the tissues of the sex organs 1 2 5 The vagina is the center of sexual sensations for the WOMAN eee 1 2 25 6 Lubricants such as KY jelly can be used with a condom to help Make sex more COMPOT ADC sve scsvetpocessncvssiw na 001405114810816356095g12u615 6138E834028uE1x0613008x4 1 2 7 The four stages of human sexual response are only experienced by men 1 2 27 8 Outercourse refers to ways of giving and receiving sexual pleasure without IHILTCOUTSGS 11000000 01021002002 A h c ca c c 9 c2 ca 1 2 9 Vaseline or baby oil can cause a condom to weaken or break
4. Participants will practice discussing safer sex with a partner The desire and the ability to explore safer sex choices with a partner are often impacted by lack of confidence limited knowledge of human sexual behavior and response and inhibition about how to start a discussion This lesson allows participants to critically examine these issues and to practice discussing safer sex choices that may be appropriate for their intimate relationships Correct use of condoms is also stressed V VVVVV Easel and paper flip chart or chalkboard Pencils markers masking tape Overhead transparencies Female Anatomy 2 views Male Anatomy 3 views Penis Shapes Handouts Condoms and Safer Sex Safer Sex Choices Role play situations p 115 Safer sex demonstration materials condoms lubricants etc Steps for I Messages charts from Session 2 Session Evaluations Refreshments 101 Session 5 Choices for Today s Woman Prepare Before Class Make copies of the following materials for each group member Female Anatomy pp 117 118 Male Anatomy pp 119 121 Penis Shapes p 122 Condoms and Safer Sex p 123 Role Play situations p 115 Session Evaluation pp 124 125 SAFER SEX CHOICES Prepare charts on Safer Sex Choices using the information on pages 103 105 Use more than one sheet of flip chart paper if needed so that charts are easily read You may choose to abbreviate your charts by listing only the
5. eee 1 2 29 10 A woman should never insist that a man use a condom because it might hurt his ego 1 2 el 31 32 124 TCU DATAR Manual Session 5 Time Out For Me Session 5 Evaluation Page 2 INSTRUCTIONS Please take a minute to give us some feedback about how you liked this session 1 Use one word to describe your feelings about this class 2 What is the most important thing you learned today 3 If you were asked to give some advice to a young person about safer sex what advice would you give Why 4 On a scale of 1 to 10 how do you rate today s class Circle your rating 01 02 03 04 05 06 07 08 09 10 Poor Pretty Good Excellent 5 Do you have any suggestions to help make this class better Time Out For Me 125
6. members for their participation Ask for a volunteer to highlight what was discussed in the previous session Thank the volunteer Use flip chart sheets from the first session to briefly go over the Group Goals and the Group Agreement as needed Introduce the session as an opportunity to improve communication with a partner about sexual issues Explain that the session will focus on safer sex choices for women and information about human sexual response Write on flip chart paper or the chalkboard the words SEXUAL INTERCOURSE Ask members to brainstorm all the terms they have ever heard or read that refer to sexual intercourse These can be street terms indirect terms funny terms anything they ve heard Write all answers Next ask participants to continue the list adding to it terms they have read or heard for other types of sexual interactions besides intercourse Prompt as needed with terms such as oral sex masturbation etc Write all answers anal sex TCU DATAR Manual E i 72 0 2770 010 70 77 Appendix C con tains information for leading a brief discussion about human sexual response WV 9 Time Out For Me Session 5 Introduce the discussion of the human sexual response cycle by pointing to the large number of words and terms we know for having sex etc Despite a large and colorful vocabulary most of us understand very little about the actual physiology of what happens
7. option for safer sex doesn t just happen it requires honesty patience commitment and lots of effective communication It also requires the courage and assertiveness to insist on condoms or other safer sex options if we know or suspect that a partner has done something that may put us at risk i As women was being faithful something you cared about even before HIV AIDS hit the scene Why How can we tell if a partner is being faithful to us How can we tell if a partner has shared uncleaned needles or works How can a woman request a monogamous safer sex relationship What communication skills would be helpful If a couple decide on monogamy how can they make it work What are the benefits of monogamy Abstinence Abstinence is a safer sex choice when we choose to not have sex rather than risk exposure to HIV or other diseases We may choose abstinence when condoms aren t available when a partner refuses to use a condom or simply because we don t feel like having sex Abstinence is another example of a personal right We all have the right to refuse sex for whatever reason no explanation required Abstinence has a heavy ring to it almost implying that the person will never ever have sex again In reality it is not so permanent It can be the choice of one evening a few months a few years Abstinence simply means abstaining or not doing something in this case sex TCU DATAR Manual Discussion Poin
8. This module was developed as part of NIDA Grant DA06162 Improving Drug Abuse Treatment for AIDS Risk Reduction DATAR The Time Out For Me training module and data collection forms may be used for personal educational research and or information purposes Per mission is hereby granted to reproduce and distribute copies of these materials except reprinted passages from copyrighted sources for nonprofit educational and nonprofit library purposes provided that copies are distributed at or below costs and that credit for author source and copyright are included on each copy No material may be copied downloaded stored in a retrieval system or redistributed for any commercial purpose without the express written permis sion of Texas Christian University For more information on Time Out For Me please contact Institute of Behavioral Research Texas Christian University TCU Box 298740 Fort Worth TX 76129 817 257 7226 817 257 7290 FAX Email ibr tcu edu Web site www ibr tcu edu Copyright 2002 Texas Christian University Fort Worth Texas All rights reserved TCU DATAR Manual Objectives Rationale Materials Z nA Time Out For Me Session 5 Choices for Today s Woman Participants will understand human sexual functioning and the sexual response cycle Participants will explore their feelings and attitudes about safer sex choices Participants will understand how to use condoms properly
9. as used needles before but not in a few years he says Ella decides to ask Rick to commit to monogamy ROLE PLAY 4 ABSTINENCE Sara has been dating Spike for a few months and they ve had sex Sara has decided she wants to get away from sex for a while so she can sort her head out She thinks she s ready for a good relationship and Spike is nice but he s not the guy Spike has just come round expecting a little romance and Sara decides to tell him about her decision 115 Session 5 Choices for Today s Woman 1 4L Thank the group for their participation and invite them back next session to continue exploring how to discuss sex in relationships Go around the room and ask participants to share one thing they liked about today s session and one thing they learned that they didn t know before Summarize using the following points 7 D KEY POINT Understanding human sexual response helps us become more at ease with our sexuality and sensuality Just as sexuality is multi dimensional there are also many dimensions to how we respond sexually on a physical level KEY POINT AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases can be spread by having sex just once with someone who is infected There are four choices available for practicing safer sex condoms monogamy outercourse and abstinence We have the right and the responsibility to make choices that protect our health and well being KEY POINT Safer sex
10. can help protect us from HIV and other infections Some safer sex choices let us explore our sensuality more fully Communicating with a partner about safer sex requires commitment and practice Safer sex can be erotic sexy and fun The key to staying safe is effective communication with our partners S Z 5 Thank members again for participating Invite them to the next session Ask participants to complete a Session Evaluation pp 124 125 pf 6 before they leave L w A gt 116 TCU DATAR Manual Session 5 CLITORIS LABIA MAJOR URETHRAL LABIA MINOR OPENING VAGINAL OPENING ANUS Female Anatomy Time Out For Me 117 Session 5 BLADDER CLITORIS LABIA VAGINA 118 Choices for Today s Woman FALLOPIAN TUBE FIMBRIA OVARY UTERUS RECTUM Female Anatomy TCU DATAR Manual Session 5 lA l N BLADDER 7 V VAS DEFERENS SEMINAL VESICLE COWPER S GLAND PROSTATE GLANO URETHRA EPIDIDYMIS TESTIS PEN S Male Anatomy Time Out For Me 119 Session 5 Choices for Today s Woman BLADDER PROSTATE GLAND FS PENS SEMINAL VESICLE GLANS COWPER S GLAND TESTIS Male Anatomy 120 TCU DATAR Manual Session 5 During sexual excitement the arteries di at rushing blood inte the penis to create am erection Opening of pet Ae dilates and cowper s and secretron ppears Fully stimulated State Unstimulated a Scrotum thicke
11. e communication can help us talk with our partner about what brings us pleasure during sex KEY POINT Not all good sexual encounters have to result in orgasm We increase our potential for satisfaction and enjoyment in relationships if we remove some of the goal oriented expectations and demands for orgasm Tell the group that the remainder of the session will be spent on 10 discussing safer sex choices Write a definition of safer sex on flip chart or chalkboard Define safer sex as Doing what you have to do to avoid getting HIV AIDS or other infections from sex Assure members that this isn t going to be another lecture on using condoms but rather a rounded discussion on how we can protect ourselves Stress that safer sex is a choice that can be exciting sexy and fun Explain that there are 4 choices or safer sex options condoms outercourse or sex without intercourse monogamy and abstinence or not having sex Use prepared flip chart sheets as guides for discussing each choice As you discuss each of the options use tacks or tape to post the charts so they are all visible at the end of the discussion After discussing safer sex choices distribute Condoms and Safer Sex handouts p 123 See FACT SHEETS in Appendix C for other related handouts Here are some points and process questions to cover for each safer sex option Safer Sex Choices Discussion Guide Condom Sense Refer participants t
12. e lead in helping her partner feel comfortable with the idea Many men and women too are socialized to believe that the only allowable kind of sex is penis in vagina sex All other kinds of sex are seen as immature or improper It may be helpful to realize that sexually we are much more than a penis or a vagina Many different parts of our bodies are sensuous sexy and turned on by touch Outercourse offers a good opportunity to explore this blessing TCU DATAR Manual Discussion Points Time Out For Me Session 5 Va What do you feel about outercourse Is it a choice that women can use Outercourse used to be called heavy petting What are some of the positive things about outercourse How do you think men feel about outercourse Do you think men can accept and practice it What are the benefits of outercourse One Plus One Monogamy Monogamy is defined in the dictionary as the practice of marrying only once in one s lifetime For the purposes of safer sex we expand the definition a bit We know that mathematically the fewer sexual partners a person has the less likely that person is to catch a sexually transmitted disease If we have just one sexual partner we have lowered the odds of infection considerably Therefore monogamy as a safer sex option means having sex with one mutually faithful uninfected partner For monogamy to be an effective safer sex strategy in which both partners ca
13. key ideas under each safer sex choice The discussion guide for these charts begins on page 108 102 TCU DATAR Manual Session 5 Prepare Before Class SAFER SEX CHOICES CONDOM SENSE Use only latex condoms Check the package label to make sure condoms are made of latex rubber and not animal skin Try out different condom brands Find the one that feels the best Put a tiny dab of lubricant on the INSIDE of the condom to increase sensation Do NOT use baby oil vaseline or handcream as a lubricant Use only water based lubricants like K Y jelly Use nonoxynol 9 lubricants only if you are not allergic Don t use if irritation develops Practice Roll a condom onto a finger a banana a cucumber Learn to use a condom before you need one Handle condoms gently and carefully so they don t break Watch out for fingernails Time Out For Me 103 Session 5 Choices for Today s Woman Prepare Before Class OUTERCOURSE OPTIONS Outercourse means strategies for pleasure or orgasm alone or with someone that don t involve intercourse Holding kissing and hugging Body massage Bathing together Masturbation mutual masturbation Fantasy erotic movies or books Vibrators sex toys properly cleaned Body rubbing Oral sex with condoms Phone sex with a willing partner ONE PLUS ONE MONOGAMY Have a heart to heart talk with your partner about the risks of having more than one sex partne
14. l a banana a cucumber or any phallic shaped object Lubricants including vaginal spermicides containing nonoxynol 9 Allow members to touch feel and smell these lubricants Advise women not to use nonoxynol 9 products if irritation develops Unlubricated condom and plastic food wrap i e Saran Wrap Demonstrate how a condom or plastic wrap can be used as a barrier for oral sex Include a brief discussion of the female condom also known as the vaginal pouch The female condom consists of a diaphragm shaped ring attached to a polyurethane sheath The ring holds the device in place and the sheath lines the vagina Order information for demonstration samples is listed in the Resources Section Encourage the use of K Y and other water based lubricants by demonstrating how oil can break a condom Rub baby oil into a condom and wait a few minutes You should be able to easily put a finger through the condom exposed to oil For a more dramatic effect blow up a condom to about the size of a small melon Pour a little baby oil on the condom and rub it in The condom should burst within a few minutes Note You should practice this technique first and be careful You and the group may get splattered in baby oil Explain that oil lubricants may not cause such a dramatic break but that oil can cause tiny pinpoint holes to develop in the latex enough to allow the HIV virus and other STD organisms to pass through 109
15. n feel secure in not using condoms or other safer sex options the issue of past present and future infection must be considered Therefore HIV testing and perhaps testing for other STDs is required Once two people know for sure that neither carries an infection and as long as neither partner is reexposed through sex or needle use they have created for themselves a safe sexual relationship If a woman wants a monogamous relationship as her choice for safer sex she must request it of her partner This requires using communication skills to discuss not only sexual faithfulness but also unsafe needle use and the importance of HIV testing Couples should remember that there is a three month window period in order for an HIV test to be accurate This means that both partners should abstain from any behavior that might expose them to the virus for at least three months before having the test Most women who have contracted HIV AIDS sexually were infected by a needle using male partner It is important to remember that sexual faithfulness is only part of the equation in a monogamous safer sex 111 Session 5 Discussion Points 112 Choices for Today s Woman relationship The best recommendation is that both partners agree to stop all forms of injection drug use If this is not possible needles and other injection paraphernalia must be sterilized by correctly using bleach or alcohol as a cleaning agent Monogamy as a true
16. ns and testicles enlarge rotate forward and elevate Resting size and posrtron OF scrotum Male Anatomy Time Out For Me 121 Penis Shapes CONDOMS AND SAFER SEX Condoms provide safety and protection but they must be used properly It is recommended that only latex latex rubber condoms be used Condoms made from animal skin membrane are not effective for preventing diseases COVERING ALL THE BASES Putting On A Condom A condom should be put on when the penis becomes hard not before Always use a new condom Place the rolled condom over the end of the erect penis and squeeze the tip end of the condom to remove any trapped air Trapped air in the end of the condom could cause the condom to break like a balloon Once the air is squeezed out roll the condom down the shaft of the penis leaving space at the tip of the condom to catch the semen cum Making the condom comfortable Choose the style and brand of condom that best fits the man It s a good idea to try different brands they are not all the same Most men prefer a condom that allows a bit of friction and is thin enough to conduct warmth Place a tiny dab of K Y jelly or other water based lubricant in the tip of the condom before rolling it on Keep in mind that too much may cause the condom to slip off However a tiny dab will help increase sensations for the man Keep several condoms ready for use when having sex If you are
17. o the handout Condoms and Safer Sex and discuss the guidelines for effective condom use Use condoms lubricants and a 108 TCU DATAR Manual Note Lubricants and other products containing nonoxynol 9 may help reduce infection from gonorrhea and chlamy dia However condoms either male or female vaginal pouch are the best protection against any STD in cluding HIV Nonoxynol 9 may cause irritation and rashes in some women actually increasing opportunity for HIV infection Women who wish to use nonoxynol 9 should do so only if they are not allergic If irritation burning or rash devel ops advise women to discontinue use Time Out For Me Session 5 condom demonstration model to explain proper use and disposal of condoms Stress that condoms should be used every time a person has sex The following materials are helpful for conducting a condom safer sex demonstration A variety of different brands of condoms opened so that participants can see the different shapes and sizes Use the overhead of Penis Shapes p 122 to discuss why it is helpful for men to try different brands and styles of condoms until they find one that is the most comfortable and pleasurable Atleast one condom for each group member to use for practice in class Members should be encouraged to practice rolling a condom onto their fingers or onto a condom demonstrator such as a wooden or plastic penis mode
18. p safer sex How did it feel to respond to a reguest for safer sex How would you handle this situation in real life For the observer How effective was this interaction Did the person reguesting safer sex get her point across For the whole group Was this situation believable Why or why not What other technigues or strategies could have been used In real life how easy would you find it to have this kind of discussion How would a man react TCU DATAR Manual Time Out For Me Session 5 ROLE PLAY 1 CONDOMS Ann and George have just met in a bar and they start to come on to each other Ann wants to make sure that George knows that if they go home together condoms will be used She wants this to be clear before they leave the bar ROLE PLAY 2 OUTERCOURSE Marie enjoys having sex with Ray but she s not sure he s faithful and she suspects he may still share needles Therefore they always use condoms Ray has come over for a romantic evening and Marie realizes that she doesn t have any condoms in the house She wants to try having fun without intercourse for a change ROLE PLAY 3 MONOGAMY Ella and Rick have been together for a lot of years and their relationship is good Ella thinks that Rick has been faithful and probably he has all these years Ella wants to cement this faithfulness to make sure they both stay safe and she doesn t have to worry in case she gets pregnant Rick h
19. r Discuss needle use too Ask your partner to think about his role in making sure his children are born healthy Request a monogamous needle free relationship Talk to a health professional about HIV testing for both of you Agree to use condoms if either partner has a fling outside the relationship or shares needles Work on keeping your sex life together happy and exciting Stay in treatment 104 TCU DATAR Manual Prepare Before Time Out For Me Session 5 NOT TONIGHT Some thoughts about abstinence Sex is YOUR choice You are not weird frigid or a cockteaser if you choose not to have sex with a guy You can have an orgasm alone if you want to Abstinence means never having to sleep on the wet spot Throughout history great thinkers have withdrawn from having sex while they worked on other parts of their lives It s okay to take a little vacation from sex You can come back anytime you re ready Abstinence is a smart choice if you find yourself really drunk or high Alcohol and other drugs can get in the way of making safe decisions about sex 105 Session 5 Procedure l 106 Choices for Today s Woman Welcome participants to the workshop When everyone is seated go around the room and ask members to introduce themselves Go around the room again and ask members to answer the following guestion If you could be invisible for one hour what would you do Thank
20. s that we do at least have four choices Keep in mind that safer sex choices are not mutually exclusive For example a person may choose to use condoms as a primary strategy then use abstinence and outercourse as secondary options when condoms aren t available Or a monogamous couple may enjoy outercourse for variety and may choose to use condoms as a method of birth control It is important to remember that when it comes to our lives and our health we make the rules and we make the choices The safer sex options discussed today provide a flexible framework for maintaining our health and happiness 113 Session 5 12 13 Discussion Guide 114 Choices for Today s Woman Thank the group for their input Invite the group to do some role plays on how to discuss each of the safer sex options with a partner Ask for 2 volunteers to role play and one to serve as an observer Keep Safer Sex Choices charts posted so they can be used as reference for role plays Also post the Steps for I Messages charts from Session 2 Briefly review I Messages and listening as needed Ask the group to help you brainstorm a role play situation for each of the four safer sex choices or use the situations on page 115 Allow about 5 minutes for each role play Stop for discussion after each one Here are some possible discussion questions To the players What did it feel like to role play this scene How did it feel to bring u
21. ts Z Make these numbers available in class For free confidential answers to guestions about STDs and HIV National STD Hotline 1 800 227 8922 National AIDS Hotline 1 800 342 AIDS 2437 or 1 800 344 SIDA Spanish ZC Time Out For Me Session 5 Abstinence requires that we be aware of own needs and feel comfortable asserting those needs There are times when physically and emotionally we are not interested in sex For example during menstruation when we are ill or when we are feeling tired or stressed out There are also times when we believe having sex is not the right choice such as when we don t trust a current or prospective partner It may also be a good idea to practice abstinence when under the influence of alcohol or drugs A person who is drunk or stoned often can t think clearly about the risks involved with sex How do you feel about abstinence or not having sex What are some reasons that a person may choose abstinence How would a woman tell a man about her decision to be abstinent What might a man say or how might he react What are the benefits of abstinence Summary of Safer Sex Choices An ideal world would be one where there is no HIV or other diseases that can be transmitted by sex or needles Unfortunately we don t live in an ideal world HIV and other diseases are a risk The safer sex choices that we have discussed are the only four choices we have The encouraging news i
22. when human beings have sex Explain that medical research about human sexual interactions only started about 30 years ago but a lot has been learned One of the most important findings was the discovery that men and women share the same basic sexual responses This is called human sexual response or the human sexual response cycle Use Male Anatomy and Female Anatomy overheads pp 117 121 to lead a discussion about human sexual response Distribute handouts of anatomy drawings Encourage guestions and discussion as you move through the material Cover the following points Male and female sexual organs are different yet similar Excitement or arousal causes genital tissues to become engorged filled with blood The four stages of human sexual response can be termed arousal peaking orgasm and rest Both women and men may experience these stages s The clitoris is the center of female sexual excitement and orgasm When stimulated it enlarges and responds like the male penis Sexual response follows the same cycle regardless of the kind of sexual stimulus vaginal oral manual or anal Summarize this section with the following points See next page 107 Session 5 Choices for Today s Woman Co f 3 KEY POINT Vaginal intercourse is not the only path to orgasm The clitoris is the organ of female pleasure This organ can be stimulated in a variety of ways to produce arousal and orgasm Effectiv
Download Pdf Manuals
Related Search