Leil Lowndes - Conversation Confidence
Contents
1. TAPE 7A DIFFERENT STROKES FOR DIFFERENT FOLKS AND DIFF RENT GENDERS Throughout history philosophers and psychiatrists have divided people into four basic personality types In this tape you learn how to determine your basic personality type Are you a box a circle a triangle or a squiggle Then you learn how to relate to the other boxes circles triangles and squiggles of the world To further clarify our complicated communications conundrum you ll examine differences in talking to men and talking to women TAPE 7B HOW TO PLAY CONVERSATIONAL HARDBALL AND WIN Master The Converter a powerful 5 step tool to persuade sell negotiate and to win Learn a foolproof pattern to sequence your concepts so you get your important ideas across then how to tailor your points depending on who you re talking to Discover ways to make your message hit home with real stories from your own life TAPE 8A ADVANCED RAPPORT ESTABLISHING TECHNIQUES Explores 7 subliminal rapport establishing techniques Learn how to emulate and capitalize on your conversational partners background and experiences clone their perceptions and then create analogies and similes from their world This tape gives you an advanced telephone technique for both deep rapport and crystal clear comprehension Finally here is a method for winning your conversational partners hearts by doing their thinking for them TAPE 8B HOW TO TALK WITH TIGERS AND NOT GET EATEN A_LIVE T2. Search the of any attractive stranger you want to talk to and find something you can compliment and or ask about Also whenever you go to a party wear an unusual piece ofj_ orc that anyone who finds you the attractive stranger can comment on Technique 2 THE WHOZAT TECHNIQUE When you spot someone you would like to meet ask the party giver for If they are too busy ask for a sentence or two so you have an opening approach Technique 3 THE LET S MINGLE TECHNIQUE When you d like to move on and talk to someone else what should you say to your conversational partner Technique 4 THE LATEST NEWS TECHNIQUE What s the last thing you should do before leaving for a party Technique 5 THE NUTSHELL RESUME Whatever your job have something to say about your own work Technique 6 THE INTRODUCTORY BAIT When introducing people to each other at a party give their names and Never say I m terrible with names What is yours again Instead say Technique 7 THE PERSONALIZED POSTCARD Get a personalized post cards with printed on it To follow up on an interesting contact at the party send the card and refer to to personalize it TAPE 4B LET YOUR BODY DO THE TALKING Studies say approximately 75 of communication comes through body language So here s the complete course in getting your s shaped up to express confidence composure and credibility You ll also learn how to read the other person s body language to unearth
3. Lips that touch a will never touch Technique 6 SENSE CLONING Generally people describe their world more through one sense than the other sight sound or feeling Primarily people might use phrases like I see what you mean That looks good to me Primarily people use phrases like I hear you That sounds good to me Primarily people use like phrases like I get it I have a gut feeling that s good Technique 7 POTENT IMAGING You make a much clearer and more powerful impact when you invoke images from your conversational partner s interests To a gardener you would talk abouts __ the s___ _ for success To a boat owner you d say a concepth____ w____ To a private pilot you d talk about that concept really t_____ O__ Write the name of someone you d like to establish deeper rapport with Name one of their main interests Now come up with a phrase related to that interest that you will use the next time you are in a discussion with them Technique 8 COMM YOU NICATION Part II For many people thinking is painful so try to do their thinking for them Whenever you say anything people always ask themselves So answer it for them before they ask by starting every sentence with __ _ TAPE 8B HOW TO TALK WITH TIGERS AND NOT GET EATEN ALIVE This tape takes conversation to its highest level It gives you sophisticated communication techniques which can mean the difference between staying on _ or toppling off _the top rung of
4. The sequence of going from small talk to deeper conversation mood match name long form subtext of approval THE TREE TECHNIQUE roots trunk branches leaves Progression of conversation from small talk to closer communication cliches facts feelings talk about you and us SIGNAL SCRAMBLING cut to number 4 CAPTIONING proud of TAPE 3A HOW TO SOUND LIKE AN INSIDER IN ANY CROWD CONVERSATION HOMEWORK insider ice breakers insider hot buttons little bait Technique SCRAMBLE THERAPY newspaper or magazine section of your local newspaper lectures greetings TAPE 3B MEGA REWARDS FOR MEGA LISTENING The human mind is capable of thinking 4to 6 times faster than the ear can listen The five hearing filters ear selection meaning emotion ego We only hear about 25 of what someone says The six ways to listen paraphrase whole body listener picturing feel have a conversation The four point listening checklist W WHAT What is he telling me H HOW How does the speaker feel about what he s telling me E EXPECTED REACTION What reaction does the speaker expect me to have W WHY Why is he telling me this TAPE 4A HOW TO WORK A PARTY LIKE A POLITICIAN WORKS A ROOM THE SIX POINT PARTY CHECKLIST WHO is going to be there WHEN should I arrive WHY is the party being given WHERE is the collective mind of the people at the party WHAT should I take to this particular par
5. To make new acquaintances subliminally feel like your friend cut quickly to number above and use the discussion mode of intimates Technique 6 CAPTIONING To make a new acquaintance feel like an old friend develop a private joke or even a pet name Whenever your conversational partner is telling a story remember some part of it that they are and then refer to it later TAPE 3A HOW TO SOUND LIKE AN INSIDER IN ANY CROWD Arms you with 2 techniques to make stimulating conversation in any group of people no matter how little you have in common The first gives you methods when you know in advance what type of people you ll be talking to The other is for when you go in cold and need to talk intelligently with a diverse group of strangers Technique 1 CONVERSATION HOMEWORK When you know the interests of the people you will be talking to ask a friend who shares that interest about the i i__b and the i h__b Whenever discussing someone else s interests it s important to throw out a l b to show you are knowledgeable Technique 2 SCRAMBLE THERAPY A technique when you don t you know the interests of the people you will be talking to Once every three weeks do something totally out of your pattern to pick up the right words and the right questions to make you conversant in that interest for the rest of your life Scramble therapy not only involves doing lots of things just once It also means Occasionally reading a diff
6. establishing phrases and discover 2 unique methods of making a new acquaintance subconsciously feel like you are an old friend TAPE 3A HOW TO SOUND LIKE AN INSIDER IN ANY CROW Arms you with two techniques to make stimulating conversation in any group of people no matter how little you have in common The first gives you methods when you know in advance what type of people you ll be talking to The other is for when you go in cold and need to talk intelligently with a diverse group of strangers TAPE 3B MEGA REWARDS FOR MEGALISTENING Introduces a unique approach to listening Brings the difficult task of absorbing the speaker s messages to life and makes it fun You ll learn to pick up every subtlety be listening like a translator listens a dancer listens a film maker listens a psychiatrist listens and finally like a lover listens With the 4 Point Listening Checklist you then uncover their hidden messages and learn to give responses aimed right at their heart TAPE 4A HOW TO WORK A PARTY LIKE A POLITICIAN WORKS A ROOM Gives you the 6 questions politicians and serious socializers ask themselves before going to a party Learn how to meet the people you want and then how to gracefully get into ___ and out of __ conversations with them Practice the technique to present yourself as a fascinating person when they ask you And what do you do Discover the one item you should wear to every party and learn the best way to follow up
7. let your s _ L carry the day _andyourb___ Concerning your first words have the courage of your own t Technique 1 THE COMM_YOU_NICATION TECHNIQUE Try to start as many sentences as you can with the magic little three letter word Technique 2 THE RESIST THE QUICK_ME_TOO TECHNIQUE Whenever you hear that you have something in common with your conversational partner the longer you wait to reveal it the more i he or she will be THE SMALL TALK CHECKLIST Your very first words should be DN and not t 2 R tos 3 Poz See te If you say anything unpleasant or disagree too early in your conversation with a new acquaintance that is 100 of their impression of your total personality orE 4 E___toa____w____ In your first conversation with a new acquaintance agreement on small points often subliminally determines whether the conversation will continue or not There are two kinds of people in this life Those who walk into a room and say Well And those who walk in and say Ah 1 You want to be one of the latter TAPE 2B TRANSITION FROM SMALL TALK TO DEEPER TALK Here are 6 techniques to shift from small talk into communication which is more engrossing and profound Includes a linguistic trick to revive a conversation that is petering out and another to uncover your conversational partners hot buttons Then learn a dozen rapport establishing phrases and discover 2 unique methods of making a new acquaintan
8. on the important people you meet TAPE 4B LET YOUR BODY DO THE TALKING Studies say approximately 75 of communication comes through body language So here s the complete course in getting yours shaped up to express confidence composure and credibility You ll also learn how to read the other person s body language to unearth their hidden messages or tell if they are lying And master Eyeball Selling a technique to convince your listener of your ideas by watching their movements Finally you ll learn how to tell if someone of the opposite sex finds you attractive TAPE 5A REACH OUT AND TOUCH EVERYBODY BY PHONE Become a master phone communicator through these 10 topnotch telephone techniques Learn how to show more personality on the phone and make everyone you call feel special You ll learn ways to keep people absorbed in your phone conversations and how subtle changes in the words you use make a big difference You ll also learn what kind of voice mail messages to leave to make people perceive you as more intelligent and call you back TAPE 6B CHEWING UP TOUGH COOKIES Learn the predictable patterns of tough cookies annoying behavior and how to chew them up so they don t even feel bitten Here are step by step methods for dealing with negativists constant talkers the super agreeable people who always let you down hostile aggressive bullies and snipers Finally learn the magic catchall sentence that turns the worst of them around
9. the social or corporate ladder You ll learn advanced concepts like providing a Safe Haven for high level contacts and always Knowing the Score in any relationship The course ends on a lighter note with The Ten Common Phrases you should never ever say in everyday conversation In big league corporate and social circles it is unspoken But everybody always knows And the person on bottom must figuratively to the one on top Technique 4 ALWAYS REVEAL WIIFY WIIFY stands for W i _ Never have any ho r TEREE ee especially if it involves the other person s time Technique 5 LEND A HELPING TONGUE Whenever someone s story was interrupted always be the first to say 23 5 If you want to play with the big boys and the big girls always tell THE TEN COMMON PHRASES YOU SHOULD NEVER USE IN CONVERSATION 1 When a friend of yours looks tired never say 2 When meeting a slight acquaintance at a party never say 3 When someone offers you a drink a cigarette or a coffee never say 4 Before presenting one of your ideas never say 5 Before telling someone something in confidence never say 6 When talking about a previous relationship never say 7 When reminding someone of a promise never say 8 When telephone a friend never say 9 When asking for a date never say 10 When wishing someone a nice day never say end workbook WORKBOOK ANSWERS TAPE 1A HOW TO MAKE AN UNFORGET
10. their hidden messages or tell if they are lying And master Eyeball Selling a technique to convince your listener of your ideas by watching their movements Finally you ll learn how to tell if someone of the opposite sex finds you attractive ofe ofe fe ofe ofe fe ofe aie oft ofe oe of oe oe oh oi ok ok oe ok The study of body language is a science called __ How can you tell if someone is lying by watching their body language You can determine if someone is happy with what they are seeing or hearing by watching thes__ _ortheirp__ _ How can you tell a sincere smile from a false one If you are having a disagreement with a good friend or someone you love say what you must but let body position m _ _ _ _ his or hers to show solidarity How can you tell who is the boss or ranking individual in any group EYEBALL SELLING You can plan your sales pitch for your product service or just your ideas by watching your listener s body positions What should you do if you observe the following 1 Study their head position Is their head turned away 2 Look at their body position Is it turning away 3 Does their facial expression change Become lively 4 Does your listener reach for an object 5 Are they pointing their fingers 6 Study their hands Are their palms up 7 Is their head is nodding up and down How to know if someone of the opposite sex finds you attractive According to a scientific study only 1 man in __ knew i
11. CONVERSATION CONFIDENCE with Leil Lowndes TAPE 1A HOW TO MAKE AN UNFORGETTABLE FIRST IMPRESSION Introduces the series and gives you 2 techniques you can start using immediately to create a dynamic first impression in the first minute or less The first is a nonverbal technique which makes you come across as a confident friendly and outgoing person The other is a verbal device which creates a feeling of instant rapport with your conversational partner TAPE IB HOW TO CAPTIVATE ANYONE ANYTIME ANYPLACE Presents three techniques you can use on new acquaintances and friends alike to dazzle them with your friendliness and sincerity Includes an 8 point checklist to use while conversing with everybody to make them feel that they and therefore you are a very special person TAPE 2A THE SECRET OF SMALL TALK discover the secrets of making charismatic conversation with new acquaintances and why the first words out of your mouth are crucial Includes a 4 point Small Talk Checklist to make sure you are on target with your opening words Then learn the Secret of Small Talk to keep all your small talk appropriate and engrossing TAPE 2B TRANSITION FROM SMALL TALK TO DEEPER TALK Here are 6 techniques to shift from small talk into communication which is more engrossing and profound Includes a linguistic trick to revive a conversation that is petering out and another to uncover your conversational partners hot buttons Then learn a dozen rapport
12. ENING 1 when breaking bread or dining with someone 2 at parties or other social situations 3 during chance encounters NEVER SAY BUTTERFINGERS nothing KNOW THE SCORE knows the score bow ALWAYS REVEAL WIFY What s in it for you hidden agenda LEND A HELPING TONGUE Now please get back to your story the truth THE TEN COMMON PHRASES YOU SHOULD NEVER USE IN CONVERSATION 1 You look tired 2 I bet you don t remember me 3 Oh no I don t smoke drink drink coffee 4 I ve got a great idea 5 Don t tell him her I told you this but 6 What a creep my ex was 7 You promised to 8 Hi Guess who this is 9 What are you doing Saturday night 10 Have a nice day
13. TABLE FIRST IMPRESSION 15 professional knowledge 85 good communications skills 3 Previous work experience 4 Recommendations from previous employers 2 Good communication skills 5 Professional Training 6 Number of years of schooling 1 A good attitude HELLO OLD FRIEND TECHNIQUE Imagine your new acquaintance is an old friend ECHOING choice of words TAPE II HOW TO CAPTIVATE ANYONE ANYTIME ANYPLACE THE PERSONALITY SOFTENER TECHNIQUE Smile Open Body Position Forward Lean Touch Eye Contact Nodding Energy Level Relative Distance Between You THE FLOODING SMILE quickly slow eyes THE STICKY EYES TECHNIQUE fraction of a second linger a fraction of a second THE VISUAL VOYAGE TECHNIQUE face eyes shyness THE SNORE TECHNIQUE What a SNORE this person is TAPE 2A THE SECRET OF SMALL TALK small subtext the rhythm the melody and the feeling smile and your body language triteness COMM YOU NICATION TECHNIQUE You RESIST THE QUICK ME TOO TECHNIQUE impressed THE SMALL TALK CHECK LIST 1 Neutral and not threatening 2 Relevant to situation 3 Pleasant Complimentary or Empathetic 4 Easy to agree with Well here I am Ah there you are Tape 2B TRANSITION FROM SMALL TALK TO DEEPER TALK CHERRY PICKING anomaly deviation digression place time or person Asking about someone s job What do you enjoy doing THE MOOD MATCH psychic photograph
14. arned should you especially use during The Overture part of the Converter The length of your overture depends on your listener s p t Which of the verbal techniques that you have learned should especially be employed during the Ask Listen phase of the Converter What other techniques you have learned is crucial to employ during the Ask Listen phase Name two techniques mentioned here that you will learn on tape 8A that you should employ during the Ask Listen phase You should first bring up the idea the product the service you want to sell during the phase By using the converter your listener feels you have not given a sales pitch for your product or ideas but the one unique s to his her p What is the first step negotiators take It is important to tailor the information to your particular listener Ask yourself three questions before presenting your ideas Is there any material I should for this particular listener Is there any material I should for this particular listener Is there any material I should for this particular listener And punctuate your presentation with s bet___ to make it come alive for your listener s But it is important that they TAPE 8A ADVANCED RAPPORT ESTABLISHING TECHNIQUES Explores 7 subliminal rapport establishing techniques Learn how to emulate and capitalize on your conversational partners background and experiences clone their perceptions and then create analogies and similes from thei
15. ce you might determine which personality type they are by the furniture arrangement Which shape is the occupant of the following offices One chair distant from occupant s desk piles of paperwork on the desk A personality works in this office No chairs but the occupant s manuals lined up on shelf A personality works in this office Office constantly changing often in disarray A personality works in this office Several chairs arranged in a ring many photos and mementos A personality works in this office DEALING WITH THE FOUR PERSONALITY TYPES And use words like DIFFERENCES IN TALKING WITH MEN AND TALKING WITH WOMEN A man s greatest fear in life is A woman s greatest fear in life is TAPE 7B HOW TO PLAY CONVERSATIONAL HARDBALL AND WIN Master The Converter a powerful 5 step tool to persuade sell negotiate and to win Learn a foolproof pattern to sequence your concepts so you get your important ideas across Then how to tailor your points depending on who you re talking to Discover ways to make your message hit home with real stories from your own life KKK K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K THE CONVERTER THE OVERTURE How is How are THE ASK LISTEN amp RESTATE PHASE Tell me As I understand it SET UP THE BIG QUESTION Given this scenario can we THE THINKING PHASE Hmm THE BIG ANSWER PHASE The answer is Yes because Which of the techniques that you have already le
16. ce subconsciously feel like you are an old friend Technique 1 CHERRY PICKING To make the conversation more interesting for your conversational partner and to slide out of small talk adjust the cherry picker in your ear Listen for any a orany mention of another p _ eee ee So Technique 2 EMPLOY EMPATHIZERS Make liberal use of simple short supportive statements like I can understand how you felt about that Or You made a wise choice or I m so happy for you Write a few of your own empathizes here Asking about someone s job What is a good substitute phrase if you are hesitant to ask a new acquaintance What do you do Technique 3 THE MOOD MATCH Before jumping into deeper conversation make a mood match Take p__ Dio a ew oe of the other person to determine if they re in the mood to talk more meaningfully The sequence of going from small talk to deeper conversation 2 Use their __ 3 Ask them an opener Make sure your opening questions have a subtext of a Technique 4 THE TREE TECHNIQUE When you get stuck for good conversation use the tree technique Ask about a person s r____ theirt___ __ theirb or their The progression of appropriate conversation from its most shallow small talk to closer communication goes from 1 Between strangers 2 Between acquaintances 3 Between friends discussion of 4 Between intimates talk about __ _ and _ _ Technique 5 SIGNAL SCRAMBLING
17. e 4 FONDLE THE ROOM TECHNIQUE In order to appear completely confident when you speak to a group try tot____ _ the space you ll be talking in If you can t do that carefully at it And if you don t even have the opportunity to do that be sure to v it What is the worst time of the day to make a presentation What is the worst day to make a presentation The second worst The best 2 days to make a presentation When you must persuade convince cajole or otherwise bring someone around to your way of thinking dress like them but TAPE 6A THE POWER OF PRAISE THE FOLLY OF FLATTERY Elevate praise to an art form and win many friends Master the Killer Compliment the Little Strokes compliment the Implied Compliment the Grapevine Compliment the Carrier Pigeon Compliment the Bulls Eye Compliment the Knee Jerk Compliment and the Tracking compliment You ll also discover the Boomerang Technique to make other people want to compliment you Technique 1 THE KILLER COMPLIMENT 4 Make sureitis_ 5 The Killer compliment should be 6 Make sure it for a quality the recipientis_ Technique 2 LITTLE STROKES List 4 little strokes phrases that fit your style that you might start giving to people Technique 3 THE IMPLIED COMPLIMENT An implied compliment is one you bury in the part of your sentence Technique 4 THE GRAPEVINE COMPLIMENT Think of something nice about a friend of yours Now write the name of a mut
18. e the speed and tone of your voice Discover image consultants techniques to put passion in your conversation and professional speakers techniques such as using dramatic silences collecting rich phrases and humor to entertain your listeners and much more Finally learn actors techniques to be completely relaxed when giving presentations to groups of people Record one of your phone conversations and listen to it afterward Now pretend you are a radio drama producer What role would you cast your voice in Count the number of words you speak per minute Technique 1 TRANSFERENCE Think of something you really enjoy talking about baseball country music tennis ballet your children your computer Now with that in mind use the transference Technique described in the tape Technique 2 THE TRUMPET BLARE PAUSE TECHNIQUE What should you do to make sure someone listens to your next words Technique 3 YOUR PERSONAL THESAURUS Write a common adjective you use very often here Now look it up in a thesaurus or book of synonyms Read some of the synonyms and choose three or four that you feel comfortable with Now practice working those words into your everyday conversations When choosing phrases choose the ones that have the most v Make liberal use of q h____ands impact to make your points When you are presenting your important ideas this body position is the most effective What should you do with your hands Techniqu
19. erent n Turning to a different s Going to lots of 1 Ask your friends about any special insider s g in their interest TAPE 3B MEGA REWARDS FOR MEGA LISTENING Introduces a unique approach to listening Brings the difficult task of absorbing the speaker s messages to life and makes it fun You ll learn to pick up every subtlety by listening like a translator listens a dancer listens a filmmaker listens a psychiatrist listens and finally like a lover listens With the 4 Point Listening Checklist you then uncover your conversational partner s hidden messages and learn to give responses aimed right at their heart Of fe fe EK of ofS K K K K KK KK KK K K The human mind is capable of thinking _ to _ times faster than the ear can listen The five filters that words go through from the time they leave the other person s mouth until they reach our brain 1 The __ _ Filter 2 The ________ _ Filter 3 The Filter 4 The_______ Filter 5 The ___ Filter We only up hearing about __ of what someone says The six ways to listen Listen like a translator To make what your CP is clearer and more memorable p in your own mind Listen like a dancer To express total empathy with your CP become aw____b l Listen like a film maker Since we remember only 7 of what we hear and 85 of what we see turn what we hear into what we see by p it like two little TV sets in front of our eyes Listen like a psychiatrist Listen between
20. f a new female acquaintance was interested in him Gentlemen if you look at a woman you don t know and she looks away it indicates she is interested if she looks up again at you within __ seconds Determine the inches between your noses when you are chatting If she lets you get within __ inches she likes you TAPE 5A REACH OUT AND TOUCH EVERYBODY BY PHONE Become a master phone communicator through these 10 top notch telephone techniques Learn how to show more personality on the phone and make everyone you call feel special You ll learn ways to keep people absorbed in your phone conversations and how subtle changes in the words you use make a big difference You ll also learn what kind of voice mail messages to leave to make people perceive you as more intelligent and call you back About __ of your energy level is lost over the phone Technique 1 VERBAL SMILES N NODS To replace the body language part of you communication on the phone use verbal equivalents What is your verbal equivalent of A smile A nod An expression of surprise A questioning look An admiring look Technique 2 THE OH WOW IT S YOU TECHNIQUE Better than smiling before you answer the phone exaggerate the warmth of your hello you find out who it is Technique 3 NAME DROPPING TECHNIQUE THEIR S To further personalize your phone communication make even more liberal use of their _ would in person _ on the phone than you Techn
21. he is feeling like that day Then go with that shape Use any words that express enthusiasm and passion TALKING TO MEN TALKING TO WOMEN Man s to be a failure Woman s to be alone a bag lady TAPE 7B HOW TO PLAY CONVERSATIONAL HARDBALL AND WIN During the Overture phase especially use Tracking personality type During the Ask Listen phase especially use Echoing also use Mega Listening And from tape 8A Parroting and Sense Cloning The Big Answer the one unique solution to his her problem The first step negotiators take is to learn the other person s side add omit substitute stories true TAPE 8A ADVANCED RAPPORT ESTABLISHING TECHNIQUES move and speak move and speak U WORDS rich toilet paper You have a nice house How do you do Different words for where they work agency or shop house studio community pharmacy child care worker person with a disability veterinarian When speaking with adventure sports enthusiasts lays down craters goes in splats bounces INSTANT REPLAY subtleties echo first bounce PARROTING questioning repeat DON T TOUCH A CLICHE WITH A TEN FOOT POLE cliche mine SENSE CLONING visual or sight auditory or sound kinesthetic or feeling POTENT IMAGING sowing the seeds for success holds water taking off COMM YOU NICATION Part II How does that affect me you TAPE 8B HOW TO TALK WITH TIGERS AND NOT GET EATEN ALIVE SAFE HAV
22. heir f__ _ while they are talking concentrating mostly on their e __ _ Often GS xt oe makes us avoid looking directly at someone Technique 5 THE SNORE TECHNIQUE To make even boring people feel you find them interesting use this beastly little trick Think W ___a s this person is And then check your body for the S the N the 0 the R and the E from the acronym above And believe it or not even you will begin to enjoy the conversation Name three people you will intend to use YOUR PERSONALITY SOFTENER on Friend Family member Co Worker After you use this technique on them record their reactions Did you notice how their response to you was more friendly than usual Now try the SOFTENER technique on the next person you meet and record their reactions to you TAPE 2A THE SECRET OF SMALL TALK Discover the secrets of making charismatic conversation with new acquaintances and why the first words out of your mouth are crucial Includes a 4_point Small Talk Checklist to make sure you are on target with your opening words Then learn the Secret of Small Talk to keep all your small talk appropriate and engrossing Some important points on small talk to remember The secret of small talk is It should be The most important factor to consider in making is small talk is the s of what you are saying Like in music in small talk ther them andthef__ are more important than your words Whenever first meeting someone
23. his tape takes conversation to its highest level It gives you sophisticated communication techniques which can mean the difference between staying on _ or toppling off the top rung of the social or corporate ladder You ll learn advanced concepts like providing a Safe Haven for high level contacts and always Knowing the Score in any relationship The course ends on a lighter note with The Ten Common Phrases you should never ever say in everyday conversation CONVERSATION CONFIDENCE WORKBOOK Leil Lowndes TAPE 1A HOW TO MAKE AN UNFORGETTABLE FIRST IMPRESSION Introduces the series and gives you 2 techniques to create a dynamic first impression in the first minute or less The first is a non verbal technique which makes you come across as a confident friendly and outgoing person The other is a verbal device which creates a feeling of instant rapport with your conversational partner Of fe fe EK of of K K K K KK KK KK K K The Carnegie Institute of Technology study revealed that in all fields __ of financial success in life is due to professional knowledge __ of financial success in life is due to good communications skills Rank in order 1 through 6 the top skills employers most consider when hiring __ Previous work experience __ Recommendations from previous employers __ Good communication skills __ Professional Training __ Number of years of schooling __ A good attitude The first impression you make on a new acquain
24. ique 4 THE CONSTANTLY CHANGING VOICE MAIL MESSAGE Studies have shown that people are perceived as morei__ and more on top of their b if they leave a voice mail message that they change every day or even every few hours What s wrong with this voice mail message that says I m either away from my desk or on the other phone right now Your voice mail message is like a verbal a for your business Technique 5 THE CLIFF HANGER MESSAGE Whenever you leave a voice mail message for someone try to leave a cliff hanger message so it gives them Technique 6 WHAT COLOR IS YOUR TIME Whenever you call anyone always ask Is this a g t to talk Technique 7 LISTEN FOR BACKGROUND NOISES When you re listening to someone on the phone and you hear another line ringing or a dog or baby ask if they Technique 8 SALUTE THE SPOUSE Always a the person who answers the phone before asking for your party Technique 9 THE PROP CHECK Get all your telephone m in order before answering the phone Technique 10 THE MAKE BELIEVE HOLD BUTTON At home don t let a family member s _ _ _ _ for you to come to the phone Fill in the following acronym for sensitive hold button operation When you must put them on hold tell your caller W H A T Never say just thank you at the end of a conversation Always say TAPE 5B PUT PIZAZZ IN YOUR CONVERSATION WITH PRO S TECHNIQUES Discern how you sound to your listeners and how to regulat
25. ir attack THE THAT S NOT LIKE YOU TECHNIQUE That s not like you to fill in whatever behavior of theirs you want to change TAPE 7A DIFFERENT SMOKES FOR DIFFERENT FOLKS AND DIFFERENT GENDERS QUALITIES DESCRIBING DIFFERENT SHAPES BOXES organized analytical persistent problem solvers CIRCLES nurturers supporters friendly nice TRIANGLES independent strong willed competitive intelligent SQUIGGLES enthusiastic theatrical spontaneous creative OFFICE FURNITURE ANALYSIS triangle box squiggle circle TALKING TO THE DIFFERENT SHAPES TALKING TO A BOX Talk slowly methodically Don t get emotional Make sure your stories have a beginning a middle and an end Don t exaggerate Use words like precise exact and specific TALKING TO A CIRCLE Ask the circle personality how he she feels today Give many compliments Avoid conflict Use words like pleasant pleasurable agreeable harmonious compatible and even nice TALKING TO A TRIANGLE Begin at the end give the bottom line first Be supportive of their goals and objectives Don t argue with a triangle If you re going to compliment the triangle compliment their ideas not their appearance Use words like proven success the result the truth important Speak of Productivity Principles Practices and Priorities TALKING TO A SQUIGGLE Before you decide on your game plan with a squiggle you must first determine what shape he s
26. ission to put them on hold T Thank them twice For agreeing to hold then for holding Always say Thank you for and then specify what you are thanking them for TAPE 5B PUT PIZAZZ IN YOUR CONVERSATION WITH PRO S TECHNIQUES THE TRUMPET BLARE PAUSE TECHNIQUE pause for a moment of silence first YOUR PERSONAL THESAURUS visual quotations humor and statistics standing use them to gesture FONDLE THE ROOM TECHNIQUE touch look at visualize PRESENTATION TIMES right after lunch Friday Monday Wednesday and Thursday just a little bit better in their style TAPE 6A THE POWER OF PRAISE THE FOLLY OF FLATTERY THE KILLER COMPLIMENT USER S MANUAL 1 in private 2 upon parting 3 3 months 4 credible 5 brief blunt and non self conscious 6 proud of THE IMPLIED COMPLIMENT parenthetical THE KNEE JERK COMPLIMENT Because they have only one question on their mind How did I do TRACKING My Life BOOMERANGING It makes the other person feel good for complimenting you TAPE 6B CHEWING UP TOUGH COOKIES DEALING WITH NEGATIVIST Do not disagree just listen DEALING WITH THE CONSTANT TALKER Interrupt his her story with short staccato questions DEALING WITH THE SUPER AGREEABLE WHO ALWAYS LETS YOU DOWN Make it non threatening for him her to be honest with you DEALING WITH THE HOSTILE AGGRESSIVE BULLY Give him her time to sound off DEALING WITH a SNIPER Surface the
27. ll who the ranking individual on a group by Watching how others mirror his or her body position EYEBALL SELLING Head turned away Encourage your customer to verbalize objections so you can tackle them head on Body turned away Ask him a personal question to get him talking and get his attention back Face becomes lively Expand on whatever aspect you are currently discussing Reaching for an object Be quiet to your listener think the issue through Pointing their fingers Listen carefully and if possible show agreement Palms of hands facing up They are subconsciously seeking your help so move in with explanations Head nodding up and down Go for the close How to know if someone of the opposite sex finds you attractive 1 man in 31 45 seconds 18 inches TAPE 5A REACH OUT AND TOUCH EVERYBODY BY PHONE 30 THE OH WOW IT S YOU TECHNIQUE after NAME DROPPING TECHNIQUE THEIRS name THE CONSTANTLY CHANGING VOICE MAIL MESSAGE intelligent business makes you sound like a slave of your business instead of the master advertisement THE CLIFF HANGER MESSAGE a reason to call you back WHAT COLOR IS YOUR TIME Is this a good time to talk LISTEN FOR BACKGROUND NOISES have to answer the other line SALUTE THE SPOUSE acknowledge THE PROP CHECK materials THE MAKE BELIEVE HOLD BUTTON shout HOLD BUTTON RULES W What you ll be doing while they re waiting H How long you expect it to be A Ask perm
28. ong better with a difficult person in your life first write their name here DEALING WITH THE SUPER AGREEABLE WHO ALWAYS LETS YOU DOWN The first step in dealing with a super agreeable is DEALING WITH MACK TRUCK THE HOSTILE AGGRESSIVE BULLY The first step in dealing with a hostile aggressive bully is DEALING WITH SNELLA THE SNIPER The first step in dealing with a sniper is THE THAT S NOT LIKE YOU TECHNIQUE This is a catchall technique for dealing with all tough cookies Simply say their name and then say 23 TAPE 7A DIFFERENT STROKES FOR DIFFERENT FOLKS AND DIFFERENT GENDERS Throughout history philosophers and psychiatrists have divided people into four basic personality types In this tape you learn how to determine you basic personality type Are you a box a circle a triangle or a squiggle Then you learn how to relate to the other boxes circles triangles and squiggles of the world To further clarify our complicated communications conundrum you ll examine differences in talking to men and talking to women Which of the following four geometric shapes do you feel most like You may choose a primary and a secondary OAO List some adjectives which describe the box personality type List some adjectives which describe the circle personality type List some adjectives which describe the triangle personality type List some adjectives which describe the squiggle personality type If you go into someone s offi
29. owever as a relationship progresses men should do it more E is for If you don t practice this technique it will give your CP the subliminal message that you are bored with them N is for This does not necessarily mean I agree with you But it does mean I understand E is for Without this attribute people will be bored with you no matter what you re talking about R is for You can give your CP the subliminal feeling that you are attracted to them by playing with this technique NOTE ALL of the above warm and friendly body language signals happen automatically when you use the Hello Old Friend technique Page 2 Technique 2 THE FLOODING SMILE To make everyone feel your smile is genuine and especially for them don t smile tooq___ Look at them for a few seconds Drink them in through your eyes And then leta s ___ warm smile of appreciation flood over your face And remember the sincere smile involves your whole face even youre ___ _ Technique 3 THE STICKY EYES TECHNIQUE The time difference between tearing our eyes away from someone we love and looking away from a bore is a f ofas___ but it signifies rejection or acceptance To give your CP the impression that you are captivated by what they are saying let youreyes ____af___ ofa G22 2 longer on them before looking away Technique 4 THE VISUAL VOYAGE TECHNIQUE To give your CP the impression that you enjoy looking at them take a visual voyage all over t
30. r world This tape gives you an advanced telephone technique for both deep rapport and crystal clear comprehension Finally here is a method for winning your conversational partners hearts by doing their thinking for them KKK K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K Manal n n OLLI Smt MTITI N AT A OO A SVT The place of work of someone in Advertising is called Publishing is called Broadcasting is called Don t say drugstore say Don t say day care worker say Don t say handicapped person say Don t say vet for an animal doctor say If you were in conversation with the following adventure sports enthusiasts fill in the word you would use for crash or fatal accident Motor cycle rider I___d___ the bike Rock climber Ch es Hang glider g__ _ iL Bungee jumper Sion Sky Diver b Technique 3 INSTANT REPLAY To get the most out of your important phone conversations check the laws in your state If it is legal record your conversations for these three reasons 1 You pick up s in your caller s voice 2 In your follow up conversations it allows you toe __ _ their insider s words 3 You pick up important information on f b Technique 4 PARROTING When you need to draw more information out of your conversational partner instead of giving your usual signals put a q look on your face and r their last few words Technique 5 DON T TOUCH A CLICHE WITH A TEN FOOT POLE 7 Many intelligent people might feel
31. tance 20 What you say 30 The sound of your voice 50 Your body language your expressions and how you move NON_VERBAL TECHNIQUE THE HELLO OLD FRIEND TECHNIQUE To make a dynamic impression and transform your body into that of an open warm and friendly person without even thinking about it imagine your n VERBAL TECHNIQUE ECHOING To give your conversational partner the feeling that you like their family use their arbitrary c of w_ Page 1 TAPE 1B HOW TO CAPTIVATE ANYONE ANYTIME ANYPLACE Presents 3 techniques you can use on new acquaintances and friends alike to dazzle them with your friendliness and sincerity Includes an 8_point checklist to use while conversing with everybody to make them feel that they and therefore you are a very special person KKK K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K Technique 1 YOUR PERSONALITY SOFTENER To seem captivated by your conversational partner use this 8 point checklist which transforms your body into that of a warm and friendly person S is for While you are looking at someone keep your eyes on theirs with an occasional glance at their most attractive facial feature O is for When you stand in this position at a party people will instinctively gravitate toward you F is for When you take this body position you reassure your CP Conversational Partner that you genuinely like them T is for In a new relationship women can use this technique more often than men H
32. the lines and ask yourself how does my CP _ _ about what he or she is saying Listen like a lover Realize that often the point of having a conversation is simply To The four point listening checklist While listening ask yourself the WHEW questions W H E W TAPE 4A HOW TO WORK A PARTY LIKE A POLITICIAN WORKS A ROOM Gives you the 6 questions politicians and serious socializers ask themselves before going to a party Learn how to meet the people you want and then how to gracefully get into and out of conversations with them Discover a technique to present yourself as a fascinating person when they ask you And what do you do Discover the one item you should wear to every party and learn the best way to follow up on the important people you meet THE SIX POINT PARTY CHECKLIST Before going to a party ask yourself the following questions W __ is going to be there W ___ should I arrive W __ is the party being given W ___ _is the collective mind of the people at the party W ___ should I take to this particular party H __ am I going to follow up on the people I ve met at the party Why is it a mistake to head right for the refreshment table Why is it a mistake to talk mostly with your friends at a party What is the simplest thing that both men and women are afraid to do in public if they don t know each other but is the most effective way to meet people Technique 1 THE WHATZAT TECHNIQUE
33. ty HOW am I going to follow up on the people I ve met at the party Eating at a party If you re munching away people are not going to be as apt to come up and say hi Chatting with your friends Strangers are not going to approach you if you are standing in a group Smile THE WHATZAT TECHNIQUE clothing jewelry or clothing THE WHOZAT TECHNIQUE an introduction some information about the person you want to meet THE LET S MINGLE TECHNIQUE I ve really enjoyed talking to you Why don t we mingle a little now Or Let s mingle a little now and I hope we see each other again before the party s over THE LATEST NEWS TECHNIQUE Turn on the TV news or scan your newspaper for the latest news THE NUTSHELL RESUME enthusiastic or interesting THE INTRODUCTORY BAIT another line or two about them to inspire interesting conversation You know I really want to remember your name could you tell me again THE PERSONALIZED POSTCARD your name address and phone number some story or fact your contact mentioned in conversation TAPE 4B LET YOUR BODY DO THE TALKING The study of body language a science called kinetics To tell if someone is lying Watch for a change in their demeanor You can determine if someone is happy with what they are seeing or hearing by watching the size of their pupils A sincere smile reaches the eyes When having a disagreement with a good friend Let your body position mirror his or hers Te
34. ual friend the two of you have The next time you see your mutual friend tell them the nice quality friend A has And then just wait for them to pass it on to A Technique 5 THE CARRIER PIGEON COMPLIMENT Think of something nice someone you know recently said about somebody else you know Now the next time you see that somebody else pass the other person s compliment on to them Technique 6 THE BULLS EYE COMPLIMENT Write the name of someone you have warm feelings toward or a person who for social or business reasons you want to establish a solid relationship with What do you assume they are most proud of and what quality would they most like to be recognized for Resolve to compliment them on that quality next time you see them Technique 7 THE KNEE JERK COMPLIMENT Why is the timing of the Knee Jerk compliment so crucial Technique 8 TRACKING Everyone is the star of a movie called Technique 9 BOOMERANGING Why is boomeranging even better than just saying Thank you when you receive a compliment TAPE 6B CHEWING UP TOUGH COOKIES Learn the predictable patterns of tough cookies annoying behavior and how to chew them up so they don t even feel bitten Here are step by step methods for dealing with negativists constant talkers the super agreeable people who always let you down hostile aggressive bullies and snipers Finally learn the magic catchall sentence that turns the worst of them around To get al
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