Mike L.`s BB Study Handout Packet
Contents
1. Found in Chapter 7 8 TO WIVES ha 104 P fangi PRF 9 THE FAMILY AFTERWARD K A ae 122 10 TO EMPLOYERS Found in Chapters 8 9 10 amp 11 136 11 A VISION FOR YOU 151 My Name Is Bill W Hallmark Hall of Fame April 30 1989 Starring James Wood as Bill Wilson The scene is a living room Bill is just down from another drunk and Lois comes home from work and sees him peering out a window Hanging up her coat she walks into the room and asks Does it have anything to do with me your drinking asks Lois No it s not you It s me Why Why do you do it to yourself she asks I ve been standing here all afternoon asking myself the same question I look out the window and I watch all the normal people walking by and it s funny I don t think I ve ever felt really normal all my life I mean like other people I feel different somehow like I don t really measure up Ever since I can remember I ve had this feeling deep down in my gut scared I see people laughing at ease with each other I m on the outside looking in afraid that I won t be accepted And then overseas I found that a drink a few drinks makes me feel comfortable like I always want to feel gives me courage to be with people do things to dream The money the respect the success it was all good for a while but it never seems enough I always want doubles of everything to make me alive worthwhile inside But then it all began to sl2. Q Fear Of Losing A Wife Q Fear Of Losing A Husband Q Fear Of Losing A Child Q Fear Of Not Having a Relationship Q Fear Of Being in a Relationship Q Fear Of Animals Q Fear Of Insects Q Fear Of Police Q Fear Of Jail Q Fear Of Doctors Q Fear Of Stealing Q Fear Of Creditors Q Fear Of Being Found Out Q Fear Of Failure Q Fear Of Homosexuals amp Lesbians Q Fear Of Failure Q Fear Of Success Q Fear Of Responsibility Q Fear Of Physical Pain Q Fear Of Drowning Q Fear Of Men Q Fear Of Women Q Fear Of Being Alone Q Fear Of People Q Fear Of Crying Q Fear Of Poverty Q Fear Of Races Q Fear Of The Unknown Q Fear Of Abandonment Q Fear Of Intimacy Q Fear Of Disapproval Q Fear Of Confrontation Q Fear Of Sobriety Q Fear Of Hospitals Q Fear Of Feelings Q Fear Of Getting Old Q Fear Of Hurting Others Q Fear Of Making Amends Q Fear Of Writing Inventory Q Fear Of Violence Q Fear Of Being Alive Q Fear Of Government Q Fear Of Gangs Q Fear Of Gossip Q Fear Of Wealth Q Fear Of Guns Q Fear Of Change Q Fear Of Anger Q Fear Of Love Q Fear Of Fear listed people institutions and principles with whom am angry lam resentful at RESENTMENT INVENTORY In most cases it was found that Putting out of my mind the wrongs others had done the following was hurt threatened or interfered with asked myself why am Affects my angry Where had I been selfish dishonest self seeking and fr
3. Within our wonderful new world we have found freedom from our fatal obsession That we have chosen this particular symbol is perhaps no accident The priests and seers of antiquity regarded the circle enclosing the triangle as a means of warding off spirits of evil and AA s circle and triangle of Recovery Unity and Service has certainly meant all of that to us and much more AA Comes of Age page 139 It was Bill W s hope that the Three Legacies represented by the Circle and Triangle would be the means by which God would continue to use the society of Alcoholics Anonymous for so long as it 1s necessary The Big Book is a textbook The directions in a textbook should be followed in order The recovery portion of the book can be broken down into three parts What is the problem What is the solution What is the program of action CONTENTS Chapter Page PREFACE xi FOREWORD TO THE FIRST EDITION xili FOREWORD TO THE SECOND EDITION XV FOREWORD TO THE THIRD EDITION xXil THE PROBLEM THE DOCTOR S OPINION ini i xxiii 1 BILL S STORY a l 2 THERE IS A SOLUTION me pee aie 17 3 MORE ABOUT ALCOHOLISM Chapters 1 2 and 3 30 THE i mala 4 WE AGNOSTICS nes 44 Found in Chapter 4 and parts of Chapters 1 amp 2 THE aidan N OF ACTION STEPS 3 amp 4 gt HOW IT WORKS Found in Chapter 5 58 6 INTO ACTION STEPS 5 6 7 8 9 10 amp 11 79 Found in Chapter 6 7 WORKING WITH OTHERS STEP 12 89 Carrying this message to alcoholics
4. else as a child of God So for me that change was pretty profound I hope that this little story may help someone else to bridge the gap between his or her inner and outer world Kerry C from Bloomfield New Jersey 29
5. 12 Step calls and taking others through the steps in the summer of 1935 Here are a couple examples of Be Step Prayers used by our early members THIRD STEP PRAYER Used by Dr Bob Dear God I m sorry about the mess I ve made of my life I want to turn away from all the wrong things I ve ever done and all the wrong things I ve ever been Please forgive me for it all I know You have the power to change my life and can turn me into a winner Thank You God for getting my attention long enough to interest me in trying it Your way God please take over the management of my life and everything about me I am making this conscious decision to turn my will and my life over to Your care and am asking You to please take over all parts of my life Please God move into my heart However You do it is Your business but make Yourself real inside me and fill my awful emptiness Fill me with your love and Holy Spirit and make me know Your will for me And now God help Yourself to me and keep on doing it I m not sure I want You to but do it anyhow I rejoice that I am now a part of Your people that my uncertainty is gone forever and that You now have control of my will and my life Thank You and praise Your name Amen THIRD STEP PRAYER Used by Clarence Snyder Both sponsor and prot g on knees Sponsor says God this is he is coming to You in all humility to ask You to guide and direct him realizes that his life is
6. Road of Happy Destiny we need to be familiar with the whole package that leads to freedom recovery peace of mind joy usefulness and a way of life that is incredibly more wonderful as time passes It doesn t matter how long it s been since our last drink What matters is how close we are to our next one How can we tell if we are closer to the next drink then we would like to be We can get a good indication every few months as part of taking personal inventory by ask ourselves Am I participating equally in all three branches of the AA solution If our answer is YES we will know as best we can if we are still on the beam in AA s design for living At the 20th Anniversary Convention of AA in St Louis MO on July 1 3 1955 Bill Wilson said the following Above us we see a banner and that banner shows a circle which is AA circumscribing the world Within it is a triangle The base of the triangle is the foundation of recovery on which we stand The left of the triangle symbolizes our unity and the right of the triangle our arm of service Such is the symbol of AA I first saw it in Norway in 1950 but this symbol is not new with us We have attributed a particular significance to it but in actuality its significance is very old Students of ancient days tell that centuries ago it was regarded by priests and witch doctors alike as the symbol by which evil spirits could be kept away and may that symbol ever stand guard over the society of A
7. by gones be by gones prayer 83 1 So we clean house with the family asking each morning in meditation that our Creator show us the way of Ninth Step patience patience tolerance kindliness and love tolerance kindliness and love prayer When these selfishness dishonesty resentment and fear crop up we ask God at once to remove them Tenth Step prayer ee After making our review we ask God s forgiveness and inquire what corrective measures should be taken capes ene a 2 Before we begin our morning meditation we ask God to direct our thinking especially asking that it be ba nant divorced from self pity dishonest or self seeking motives OM ENEKE IITE our thinking prayer 3 Here if faced with indecision while thinking about the day we ask God for inspiration an intuitive thought Eleventh Step indecision or a decision prayer We usually conclude the period of meditation with a prayer that we be shown all through the day what our next step is to be that we be given whatever we need to take care of such problems We ask especially Eleventh Step end of for freedom from self will and are careful to make no request for ourselves only We may ask for meditation prayer ourselves however if others will be helped As we go through the day we pause when agitated or doubtful and ask for the right thought or action We constantly remind ourselves we are no longer running the show humbly saying to our
8. going to be our Director He is the Principle we are His agents He is the Father and we are His children Most good ideas are simple and this concept was the keystone of the new and triumphant arch through which we passed to freedom Big Book page 62 line 27 STEP 3 Our DECISION is the KEYSTONE As soon as a man can say that he does It has been believe or is willing to repeatedly proven believe we emphatically among us that upon assure him that he is on this simple his way cornerstone a Big Book page 47 line 16 a Sen 2 a wonderfully effective spiritual structure can BELIEF be built is the CORNERSTONE Upon a foundation of complete willingness might build what saw in my friend Big Book page 12 line 22 STEP 1 WILLINGNESS is the FOUNDATION Some Variations of The Third Sten Prayer The wording used for the prayer to affirm our ign expressed the idea voicing it without reservation This statement follows the Third Step Prayer on page 63 of the Big Book Step Decision was of course quite optional so long as we Some of our founders and early members of the fellowship used a prayer other than the one on page 63 of the Big Book to take newcomers through their decision namely because the Big Book wasn t printed until 1939 and they got our Program from Oxford Group principles Bill W Dr Bob and Bill D started making
9. messed up and unmanageable is coming to You Lord in all humility to ask to be one of your children to work for you to serve and dedicate his life to you and to turn his will over that he may be an instrument of your love Prot g repeats after the sponsor Lord I ask that you guide and direct me and that I have decided to turn my life and will over to you To serve You and to dedicate my life to You I thank you Lord I believe that if I ask this in prayer I shall receive what I have asked for Thank you God Amen Prayer of Abandonment Father I abandon myself into Your hands do with me what you will Whatever You may do I thank You I am ready for all I accept all Let only Your will be done in me and in all Your creatures I wish no more than this O Lord Into your hands I commend my soul I offer it to You with all the love of my heart for I love You Lord and so need to give myself to surrender myself into Your hands without reserve and without reserve and with boundless confidence for You are my Father Charles de Foucauld Third Step Prayer Translated God I give myself to you You use me as you want Relieve me of my self will So I may better do God s will Take away my fears my selfishness and self centeredness So I can be an example of your Power your Love and your Way of Life to others May I do God s will always The Third Step Prayer Exercise Here is the Third Step Pra
10. Y IE KK lt S IIE lt S A amp A amp DK Fis NN S KK se A Weekend Sharing February 24 amp 25 2001 Hosted by the icles Big Book Study Group AA OCECECCCCCE SeSSeeoeoee The Set Aside Prayer Dear God please set aside everything I think I know about myself my disease the Big Book the 12 Steps the Program the Fellowship the people in the fellowship and all spiritual terms especially you God so I may have an open mind and a new experience with all these things Please help me see the Truth Amen The Set Aside Prayer sometimes referred to as the Lay Aside Prayer as stated here is not word for word stated in the Big Book but statements and ideas that have inspired the prayer can be found in the Big Book on the pages given below and are highlighted in bold font The words used above excluding those in the brackets comprise the prayer in its purest form Feel free to adapt or modify the bracketed words as needed Our spiritual advisors have found that this prayer seems to have a profound affect when used while taking someone through Steps 1 and 2 out of the Big Book Page 42 1 2 But the program of action though entirely sensible was pretty drastic It meant I would have to throw several lifelong conceptions out of the window Page 46 1 1 We found that as soon as we were able to lay aside prejudice an
11. ___ Immodesty Q Favoritism A Negativethinking Z a a ln One of 20 character defects identified by Clarence Snyder who was about the fortieth man sponsored by Dr Bob 7 One of the Seven Deadly Sins mentioned in the Twelve amp Twelve 19 lFlumibily asiked Elim to remove our shorteomin Sooo Nature abhors a vacuum Wrongs Defects Shortcomings Resentment Anger Fear Cowardice Self Pity Self Justification Self Importance Egotism Self Condemnation Guilt Lying Evasiveness Dishonesty Impatience Hate False Pride Phoniness Denial Jealousy Envy Laziness Procrastination Insincerity Negative Thinking Immoral Thinking Perfectionism Intolerance Criticizing Loose Talk Gossip Greed Ask God to Replace them with Assets Positive Traits Forgiveness Courage Self Forgetfulness Humility Modesty Self Valuation Honesty Patience Love Unpretentiousness Trust Satisfaction Activity Industriousness Promptness Straightforwardness Positive Thinking Spiritual Clean Thinking Tolerance Praise for Others Generosity 20 OE YENTEI STEP PRAYER Page 76 Big Book Alcoholics Anonymous My Creator I am now willing that you should have all of me good and bad I pray that you now remove from me every single defect of character which stands in the way of my usefulness to you and my fellows Grant me strength as I go out from here to do your b
12. are willing anyway We must not shrink at anything Amend type d Incidents of domestic trouble We may have committed adultery After years with a drunk spouses get worn out resentful and uncommunicative We begin to feel self pity sorry for ourselves So we look around for another feeling justified when WE were really the source of the problem in the first place Sometimes that leads to guilt feelings We have to do something about this If the spouse does not know we do not always say it is best to tell If she knows something we admit our fault We have no right to name the names of others involved Keep in mind we are dealing with the most horrible human emotion jealousy Don t risk more combat over this Some think just being sober in the home now is enough It isn t We have treated spouses and family in a shocking way We have been like a tornado We broke hearts and uprooted affection and our selfishness kept the home in turmoil Just saying we are sorry will not do We sit with the family and analyze the past not criticizing any of them Yes they may have defects but many of them were inspired by our behaviors We pray each morning for God to show us the way of patience tolerance kindliness and love Amend type e Wrongs we can never fully right Be very careful about listing anyone or anything here We only list someone here if we can HONESTLY say that the wrong cannot be righted usually when to do so wo
13. arm than we have done them With a person we dislike we take the bit in our teeth It is harder to go to an enemy than a friend but the benefit is greater Go in a helpful forgiving spirit Do not criticize or argue We are there to sweep off OUR side of the street Nothing can be accomplished until we do so Discuss your faults not his or hers Be calm frank open It doesn t matter if they accept the apology or throw us out of the office We ve done our part Amend type b The people institutions owed money Most alcoholics owe money We don t dodge anyone In some cases some of us had to disclose our alcoholism by way of explaining what drove us and what we are now trying to do We do not try to beat anyone out of anything but we arrange a deal that we can live up to Arranging time payments has worked for many of us Let them know you re sorry Drinking made us slow to pay If we fear facing our creditors we often drink Amend type c Incidents of criminal offense Some of us padded expense accounts fell behind on child support wrote bad checks and committed other offenses of the law We remind ourselves that we must be willing to go to any lengths to correct these mistakes if we are to stay sober We don t have the power to do this We ask God for strength and direction We don t worry about the consequences We know God will protect us if we try to do the right thing We may lose position or reputation We
14. at we be given strength and direction to do the right thing no matter what the personal consequences may be pg 79 1 e If we have obtained permission from other people who might be affected by us making this amend have consulted with others asked God to help and the drastic step is indicated we must not shrink pg 80 1 e Each might pray about it in domestic problems having the other one s happiness uppermost in mind pg 82 1 e So we clean house with the family asking each morning in meditation that our Creator show us the way of patience tolerance kindliness and love pg 83 1 Examples of 9th Step Prayers e Asked before we attempt every amend God with regard to this amend please remove my fear and give me strength courage and direction to do the right thing no matter what the personal consequences may be Amen from the thoughts on pg 79 11 e Cleaning house with our family we pray each morning God please show me how to find patience tolerance kindness and love in my heart my mind and my soul Please help me show these attributes to my family and also to those around me Amen from the thoughts on pg 83 4 1 23 rire PES Ere a a al a al an a a ree Lee ee P Important Points Regarding Amends Restitution Excerpted from the Big Book s explanation of Step 9 pages 76 83 Amend type a The people we hate resent It may be some have done us more h
15. contributing inside and outside of AA The set of 12 spiritual principles associated with service are contained in the 12 Concepts which are located in the booklet Twelve Concepts for World Service The part of the disease that it treats is the spiritual remember that the Big Book says on pages 14 15 that we perfect and enlarge our spiritual life through work and self sacrifice for others and on pages 14 76 88 amp 93 it says Faith without works is dead Also notice that the sides of the triangle are all equal in size which means that not only do I need to be living in all three areas but that I need to incorporate all three proportionately I have seen many people go back out who were using LESS THAN all three parts but I have NEVER seen ANYONE return to drinking who was living in ALL THREE I ve heard people refer to it as a three legged stool If all three legs are there then the structure 1s solid but if one or two legs are missing then what is supporting me is shaky and I am sure to fall If actions in these three areas are taken I can be whole in body mind and spirit together as one There are times when these principles spill into each other because the lines between them are blurred like it could be said that all of the Steps lead to our awakening to the awareness of spirit or service sounds alot like our Step 12 or there are aspects of the Traditions that can be used in all of our affairs But if we want to stay on the
16. d express even a willingness to believe in a Power greater than ourselves we commenced to get results Page 47 1 When therefore we speak to you of God we mean your own conception of God This applies too to other spiritual expressions which you find in this book Do not let any prejudice you may have against spiritual terms deter you from honestly asking yourself what they mean to you Page 47 f 4 Besides a seeming inability to accept much on faith we often found ourselves handicapped by obstinacy sensitiveness and unreasoning prejudice Many of us have been so touchy that even casual reference to spiritual things make us bristle with antagonism This sort of thinking had to be abandoned Though some of us resisted we found no great difficulty in casting aside such feelings Faced with alcoholic destruction we soon became as open minded on spiritual matters as we had tried to be on other questions In this respect alcohol was a great persuader It finally beat us into a state of reasonableness Sometimes this was a tedious process we hope no one else will prejudiced for as long as some of us were Page 49 1 2 We who have traveled this dubious path beg you to lay aside prejudice even against organized religion Page 58 1 3 Some of us have tried to hold on to our old ideas and the result was nil until we let go absolutely The CirelesanadsTrian lle The Circle and Trian
17. ers of religious bodies we sometimes select and memorize a few set prayers which emphasize the principles we have been discussing There are many helpful books also As we go through the day e we pause when agitated or doubtful and ask for the right thought or action e We constantly remind ourselves we are no longer running the show humbly saying to ourselves many times each day Thy will be done We are then in much less danger of excitement fear anger worry self pity or foolish decisions lt works it really does Note These are only the directions for Steps 10 amp 11 as described in The Big Book on pages 84 88 The many promises given in these two steps are not listed on this sheet Please be sure to review the 10th amp 11th Step promises Zo Prayers im the Big Book Page 63 2 God offer myself to Thee to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt Relieve me of the bondage of self that may better do Thy will Take away my difficulties that victory over them may bear witness to Third Step Prayer those would help of Thy Power Thy Love and Thy Way of life May do Thy will always 67 1 We asked God to help us show them the same tolerance pity and patience that we would cheerfully grant Fourth Step resentment a sick friend When a person offended we said to ourselves This is a sick man How can be helpful to prayer him God save me from being angry Thy w
18. es Lord here is your child He is coming to you in all humility to humbly ask your forgiveness believing that anything he asks in prayer he humbly shall receive Prot g repeats after sponsor I humbly ask you oh Lord to remove my shortcomings and forgive me my sins and trespasses and ask in all humility that you will remove my defects and shortcomings because I am one of your children and I truly believe Thank you God Amen Sponsor says Your sins are removed if you truly believe Thank you Lord Amen 21 22 Amends Restitution List Step 8 says Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all Step 9 says Made direct amends to such people wherever possible except when to do so would injure them or others plus sign Willing to make the amend minus sign Not willing If you have any minuses pray for the willingness There may be additional harms you ve caused this person Ask them Is there any other way I ve harmed you that I m not aware of Fill this space in after you ve made your initial approach to the person and you ve asked them What can I do to right this wrong Whom did I harm The harm I caused T o make the amend I will R 9th Step Prayers from the Big Book e Reminding ourselves that we have decided to go to any lengths to find a spiritual experience we ask God th
19. gle is an ancient spiritual symbol meaning mind body and spirit together as one Until 1994 this symbol was used on all of AA s Conference Approved literature AA World Services no longer uses the symbol on its literature due to copyright complications Second Legacy of Unity Part of our illness it treats is the Body Set of 12 Spiritual Principles is the 12 Traditions Explanations of Traditions found in Twelve amp Twelve AA Comes of Age The Language of the Heart and various pamphlets Through the application of AA s 36 Spiritual Principles one can become Whole First Legacy of Recovery Part of our illness it treats is the Mind Set of 12 Spiritual Principles is the 12 Steps Directions for the Steps found in The Big Book Third Legacy of Service Part of our illness it treats is the Spirit Set of 12 Spiritual Principles is the 12 Concepts The Concepts are explained in The AA Service Manual combined with Twelve Concepts for World Service Mind Body and Spirit together as One Our Co founder Bill W said the following about the Circle and Triangle in 1955 at Alcoholics Anonymous s 2 International Convention Above us floats a banner on which is inscribed the new symbol for AA a circle enclosing a triangle The circle stands for the whole world of AA and the triangle stands for AA s Three Legacies of Recovery Unity and Service
20. hers I Life Long Friends Q Best Friends d Acquaintances Q Girl Friends _ Boy Friends Q Parole Officers L Probation Officers Q A A Friends Q U S Service Friends INSTITUTIONS I Marriage LY Church LI Religion L Races 2 Law 2 Authority L Government J Education System _I Hospitals 2 Health Care System I Correctional System I Mental Health System Q Welfare 2 Philosophy 2 Nationality 2 Rehabs I Mental Institutions PRINCIPLES 2 God Q Bible Q Retribution 2 Ten Commandments Q Jesus Christ Q Satan I Death Q Life After Death L Heaven Hell LJ Sin LY Adultery I Golden Rule 2 Original Sin LI Seven Deadly Sins J Love Honor Obey LI Theory of Reciprocity 2 Twelve Steps L Twelve Traditions L Twelve Concepts J Do Unto Others J Can t be too thin J Other Popular Sayings PEAR INVENTORY PROMPT SHEET Here is a list of fears that may be helpful in your fear inventory Feel free to add to the lists if you need to Q Fear Of God Q Fear there is no God Q Fear Of Dying Q Fear Of Living Q Fear Of Insanity Q Fear Of the Truth Q Fear Of Lies Q Fear Of Insecurity Q Fear Of Rejection Q Fear Of Acceptance Q Fear Of Loneliness Q Fear Of Disease s Q Fear Of Drinking Q Fear Of Relapse Q Fear Of Sex Q Fear Of no Sex Q Fear Of Sin Q Fear Of Authority Q Fear Of Not Being in Control Q Fear Of Heights Q Fear Of Working Q Fear Of Not Working Q Fear Of Parents
21. ice coming from the mountain Ahhhh Filled with curiosity he screams Who are you But the only answer he receives is Who are you This makes him angry so he screams You are a coward and the voice answers You are a coward He looks at his father asking Dad what is going on Son the man replies pay attention Then he screams I admire you The voice answers I admire you The father shouts You are wonderful and the voice answers You are Wonderful The boy is surprised but still can t understand what is going on Then the father explains People call this ECHO but truly it is LIFE Life always gives you back what you give out Life is a mirror of your actions If you want more love give more love If you want more kindness give more kindness If you want understanding and respect give understanding and respect If you want people to be patient and respectful to you give patience and respect This rule of nature applies to every aspect of our lives Life always gives you back what you give out Your life is not a coincidence but a mirror of Your own doings Arthur Unknown Third Step Parable I m going to paraphrase a wonderful speaker I heard who told a story about the third step A drunk is walking staggering along the street and he meets God God I can t do this anymore he says Please please will you give me sobriety Sobriety isn t free says God How much money have y
22. idding Amen ORIGINAL SEYENTH STEP PRAYER Used by Dr Bob Dear God I am coming to You on my knees in all humility to humbly ask You to forgive all my past wrongs and to remove all my defects of character I want to start a new life today and I ask You to help me do so and to keep helping 1f I keep asking In Step Three I turned my will and my life over to Your care Thank You for taking complete control of my life and thank You for this opportunity to wipe my slate clean and start my life anew In Steps Four Five and Six I have completed my moral inventory and admitted to myself and another person the exact nature of my wrongs I now admit these wrongs to You God I am entirely ready to ask and pray now that You please remove from me every single defect of character Specifically I ask You to remove the following shortcomings listed in my Fourth Step moral inventory Read aloud here those defects from your list Thank You God for this opportunity for a new beginning in my life and a chance to be a part of the solutions in life instead of the problems Please grant me wisdom knowledge and strength as I go out from here to do Your work and live the Victorious Life You designed for me Thank You God for the steps which will make Your plan for my life clear to me Thank You and praise Your name Amen SI YENTE STEP IPIRAY EIR Used by Clarence Snyder Both sponsor and prot g on kne
23. ightened resolutely looked for my own mistakes Though a situation had not been entirely my fault try to disregard the other person involved entirely The cause Where was to blame What did do Use this sheet to get started Keep the next page blank to make copies 12 RESENTMENT INVENTORY In most cases it was found that Putting out of my mind the wrongs others had done the following was hurt listed people heared iniedored wiii resolutely looked for my own mistakes institutions and asked myself why am Affects my principles with angry whom I am angry Where had I been selfish dishonest self seeking and frightened Ooo T T S OH ROO Though a situation had not been entirely my fault I try to disregard the other person involved entirely lam resentful at The cause Where was to blame What did do PEAR INVENTORY God please remove my fear of How did self reliance fail me and direct my Why do I have this fear What did do or not do to set the ball attention to what You would have rolling with this fear am fearful of Use this sheet to get started Keep the next page blank to make copies 14 am fearful of Why do I have this fear PEAR INVENTORY How did self reliance fail me What did do or not do to set the ball rolling with this fear God please remove my fear of and direct my attention to what You w
24. ill be done We ask Him to remove our fear and direct our attention to what He would have us be Fourth Step fear prayer We asked God to mold our sex ideals and help us to live up to them Fourth Step ideals prayer 3 3 4 In meditation we ask God what we should do about each specific matter regarding sex harms Fourth Step 5ex relations amends prayer 2 To sum up about sex We earnestly pray for the right ideal for guidance in each questionable situation for l Fourth Step prayer for ideals sanity and for the strength to do the right thing guidance ey strength Returning home We thank God from the bottom of our heart that we know Him better after Fifth Step prayer 70 If we still cling to something we will not let go we ask God to help us be willing Sixth Step willingness prayer 76 2 My Creator am now willing that you should have all of me good and bad pray that you now remove 3 from me every single defect of character which stands in the way of my usefulness to you and my fellows Seventh Step Prayer Grant me strength as go out from here to do your bidding Amen We have then completed Step Seven If we haven t the will to do this we ask until it comes E E I a o e ener cree aia 9 9 gt taing P q Y direction to do the right thing be prayer Each might pray about it having the other one s happiness uppermost in mind Ninth Step et
25. ind and loving toward all What could we have done better Were we thinking of ourselves most of the time Or were we thinking of what we could do for others of what we could pack into the stream of life But we must be careful not to drift into worry remorse or morbid reflection for that would diminish our usefulness to others e After making our review we ask God s forgiveness and inquire what corrective measures should be taken On awakening let us think about the twenty four hours ahead We consider our plans for the day e Before we begin we ask God to direct our thinking especially asking that it be divorced from self pity dishonest or self seeking motives e In thinking about our day if faced with indecision we ask God for inspiration an intuitive thought or a decision We relax and take it easy We don t struggle e We usually conclude the period of meditation with a prayer that we be shown all through the day what our next step is to be that we be given whatever we need to take care of such problems e We ask especially for freedom from self will and are careful to make no request for ourselves only We may ask for ourselves however if others will be helped We are careful never to pray for our own selfish ends e f circumstances warrant we ask our wives or friends to join us in morning meditation If we belong to a religious denomination which requires a definite morning devotion we attend to that also If not memb
26. ing How It Works with a prot g I had an epiphany I saw a paragraph in a way I had never seen it before pp62 2 So our troubles we think are basically of our own making They arise out of ourselves and the alcoholic is an extreme example of self will run riot though he usually doesn t think so Above everything we alcoholics must be rid of this selfishness We must or it kills us God makes that possible And there often seems no way of entirely getting rid of self without His aid Many of us had moral and philosophical convictions galore but we could not live up to them even though we would have liked to Neither could we reduce our self centeredness much by wishing or trying on our own power We had to have God s help Then it occurred to me that I had been trying to moralize or philosophize myself into unselfishness As I thought about it I remembered that there were other places in the book that echoed such sentiments My book just opened to them pp66 4 We saw that these resentments must be mastered but how We could not wish them away any more than alcohol I never thought that I was just as powerless over resentment or self as I was over booze I always just looked at it as a matter of character defects And that if I knew what they were I could work on them with God s help of course I saw that I was not in control of my emotional nature that was God s job I was underqualified Next I turned to pp44 4 and 45 0 Ifa mere code of m
27. ip away I feel cheated angry always so full of fear so I drink more And it makes me feel OK for a while I convince myself that things will turn around tomorrow Soon that I ll make it all up to you but it only gets worse I I keep promising you others myself That s it And I think I mean it but the guilt and the depression I can t look in the mirror or at you especially especially at you I ve stopped believing in everything people God myself I know it sounds insane Lois but in spite of all this what I want right now more than anything else is another drink 1989 by Warner Brothers Am I SELPISH If I am resentful it is because someone did not do what I wanted them to do in the past They did not do it my way That is being SELFISH If I am angry it is because someone is not doing what I want them to do right now They are not doing it my way That is being SELFISH If I am fearful it is because I know someone is not going to do what I want them to do in the future They are not going to do it my way That is being SELFISH If I feel guilty or remorseful it is because I got my own way at your expense And that is being SELFISH It seems that page 62 of the Big Book is correct when it says SELFISHNESS is the root of all my trouble The Echo of Life A man and his son were walking in the forest Suddenly the boy trips and feeling a sharp pain he screams Ahhhh Surprised he hears a vo
28. lcoholics Anonymous This symbol is also an ancient spiritual symbol for wholeness of body mind and spirit or Oneness On May 21 1993 AA World Service released an unsigned document titled Follow up Statement Regarding Use of the Circle Triangle Symbol In it AAWS stated that Alcoholics Anonymous will phase out the official use of the circle and triangle symbol in and on its literature letterheads and other material That action has generated a considerable amount of discussion because it was taken without a conference action or a group conscience I hope you can see the significance of the Circle and Triangle and please let others know especially people you work with about it s representation of the 36 spiritual principles in AA s solution to alcoholism that lead to integrity on the personal group and service level Barefoot Bill From Upper Darby PA 610 352 3118 2i From Head to Heart I have always struggled with feelings of inadequacy I always had an ideal of who and what I was suppose to be and the sad fact was that I never came close to reconciling my inner and outer worlds I fell short in thought word and deed So I gave up trying and settled deeper into the bottle As my disease took a greater hold and my life became a living hell I reached out for some form of relief namely AA and the Twelve Steps The fog began to clear I began to see the light at the end of a very long alcohol sodden tunnel A fierce de
29. le reflecting on the first 5 steps and what I just learned I got the idea of applying all of this to Step Seven So instead of just saying the prayer I thought about what I was asking for I was asking God to have all of me not just my character my soul my fate but ALL that I am a mother a wife a daughter a sister a friend an A A a human being all of these things To allow Him to guide and direct me to truly be his agent to offer all that I may be along with everything that I once was to a God who was with me every step of the way So I made a list from my 4th Step of all the places that I had utterly failed under my own power where I brought confusion and asked Him to have it ALL I placed this list in to my God box and knelt down to say the prayer with a deeper understanding of what I was doing I was asking God to live in and through me and for the first time I felt what I said The results are apparent I don t talk at meetings to sound good I ask God to speak if I open my mouth I don t give crap to prot g s because I trust God to guide them as he has me I don t try to manipulate to get what I think I need Furthermore I have found the grace to transcend years if abuse and fear in order to trust and love the members of the opposite sex without guile or fear To communicate with fellow children of our infinite God on a level that I couldn t have dreamed of I no longer fear being found out Today I truly see myself and everyone
30. n I didn t By the grace and love of infinite God I sit here sober happy and free After four years of inner torture in recovery I am enjoying all of promises of our book and have been for a while It started with one sentence in the Big Book it changed my whole perception of the Steps Recovery took on a whole new meaning That fateful sentence can be found in WE AGNOSTICS pp53 2 When we became alcoholics crushed by a self imposed crisis we could not postpone or evade we had to fearlessly face the proposition that either God is everything or else He is nothing God either is or He isn t What was our choice to be I always took that to mean God was everything you know the trees rocks you me One day I was listening in a meeting and it occurred to me that God has to be everything to me He has to be involved in everything I do My sponsor always says Get God involved invite Him in And I did When I thought I couldn t handle something I would say out loud Okay God get involved and things would be okay until next time But I never offered ALL of me to ALL of God I just offered what I couldn t do What didn t occur to me was that I couldn t do anything relying on my own power remember the miserable results My relationships with myself God you everything had to be totally in his care because they weren t mine anyway they were His HE IS EVERYTHING So with this lightning bolt up my butt I looked at the book again While read
31. o doing In other words we treat sex as we would any other problem In meditation we ask God what we should do about each specific matter The right answer will come if we want it page 69 3 Suppose we fall short of the chosen ideal and stumble Does this mean we are going to get drunk Some people tell us so But this is only a half truth It depends on us and on our motives If we are sorry for what we have done and have the honest desire to let God take us to better things we believe we will be forgiven and will have learned our lesson If we are not sorry and our conduct continues to harm others we are quite sure to drink We are not theorizing These are facts out of our experience page 70 91 To sum up about sex We earnestly pray for the right ideal for guidance in each questionable situation for sanity and for the strength to do the right thing If sex is very troublesome we throw ourselves the harder into helping others We think of their needs and work for them This takes us out of ourselves It quiets the imperious urge when to yield would mean heartache page 70 12 Imperious Domineering Overbearing Urgent Pressing Dictatorial Imperious urge also known as horniness Were entirely ready to haye God remove all these detects of CINAPACTECP so Check off the defects that you found when you took Steps 4 amp 5 2 Abusing others Boasting Greed 7 Cold heartedness
32. orals or a better philosophy of life were sufficient to overcome alcoholism many of us would have recovered long ago But we found that such codes and philosophies did not save us no matter how much we tried We could wish to be moral we could wish to be philosophically comforted in fact we could will these things with 28 all our might but the needed power wasn t there Our human resources as marshaled by the will were not sufficient they failed utterly Lack of power that was our dilemma We had to find a power by which we could live and it had to be a Power greater than ourselves Obviously But where and how were we to find this Power With all of these things running around my mind I asked myself what they meant My answer was rather profound to me This may be something you guys have already grasped but to me it was news I had always known it in my head but never integrated it as part of my soul At that moment it became part of me I knew that I couldn t control any relationship in my life I was just borrowing God s love in these things His loving hands and the invisible threads of His grace hold my life together My life had been shot though with the evil and corroding thread of fear which is now equally balanced with Gods loving mesh With that I was able to go beyond human power to grab a hold of something that truly allowed me to see myself as I am After having finished an intense long form inventory I took my quiet hour whi
33. ou got Drunk reaches into his pocket Fifty bucks T I take it says God You re sober The man stands up straight drunk no more It feels pretty good Yeah but God Yes I know I gave you my money willingly But you see I need to get gas for my car You have a car Well yes You didn t tell me that I ll take the car But T ll take the car It s part of the price for your sobriety But how will I get to work You have a job I ll take the job too But God how will I pay my mortgage Mortgage You have a house I ll take that too But God my family How will I take care of them if you have my house and my job God says to him gently In order to keep your sobriety you must give me these things But I will let you drive my car as long as you remember it s my car You can have the job but remember you re working it for me It s my house but I will let you live in it And as for the family they are my family but I will trust you to take care of them The Wonderfully litfective Spiritual Structure The arch through which we passed to freedom Step 1 We admitted we were powerless over alcohol that our lives had become unmanageable Step 2 Came to believe that a Power greater than our selves could restore us to sanity Step 3 Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him we decided that hereafter in this drama of life God was
34. ould have 15 OLX amp HARMS INVENTORY Did unjustifiably arouse Whom did hurt Where was at fault Where had I been What should I have done instead selfish dishonest or inconsiderate Pot RE O fee Use this sheet to get started Keep next page blank for copies 16 Whom did hurt Did unjustifiably arouse ee RE ee l eee OLX amp HARMS INVENTORY Where was at fault Where had I been selfish dishonest or inconsiderate What should have done instead Chosen Sex Ideal In this way we tried to shape a sane and sound ideal for our future sex life page 69 12 SANE Mentally healthy showing sound judgement reasonable SOUND Free from defect decay or damage in good condition IDEAL A conception of something in its perfection an ultimate endeavor a goal We subjected each relation to this test was it selfish or not We asked God to mold our ideals and help us to live up to them We remembered always that our sex powers were God given and therefore good neither to be used lightly or selfishly nor to be despised and loathed page 69 2 Use the 4 column of Sex amp Harms Inventory What should I have done instead to write your chosen SEX IDEAL Whatever our ideal turns out to be we must be willing to grow toward it We must be willing to make amends where we have done harm provided that we do not bring about still more harm in s
35. selves many times each day Thy will be done Eleventh Step when agitated or doubtful prayer Ask Him in your morning meditation what you can do each day for the man who is still sick Twelfth Step Call prayer 26 The Circle amp Triangle When the spiritual malady is overcome we straighten out mentally and physically Big Book page 64 When it says physically please keep in mind that this includes the physical world around us For me the circle amp triangle represents the Alcoholics Anonymous solution to alcoholism It is a perfect overview of our three part answer unity recovery amp service to our three part disease physical mental amp spiritual The foundation of this triangle which the rest of the solution is built upon is recovery The set of 12 spiritual principles associated with recovery are contained in the 12 Steps which are located in the Big Book pages 1 164 and then talked about in the 12 amp 12 pages 15 125 The part of the disease that it treats is the mental The left side of this triangle is unity which can be found in fellowship with other AA s The set of 12 spiritual principles associated with unity are contained in the 12 Traditions which are located in the 12 amp 12 pages 129 192 The part of the disease that it treats is the physical And the right side of this triangle is service which can be found in carrying the message and with unselfishness amp love
36. termination to be somebody to be something returned My inner critic that I had locked up had sprung loose and began to wreak havoc By then I had done a 4th and 5th Step and I saw how I fell short in all areas in my life My selfishness was blatant and I was ruled by fear I understood that it wasn t everyone else s fault there was a part I played I knew I didn t want to live like that anymore I didn t want the consequences I didn t want to drink so I said the Seventh Step prayer and moved on to my amends Life went on and I was wondering why I wasn t enjoying as much relief as the Big Book promised I tried to live what I thought was a good life I tried to behave kindly kill em with kindness I faked it till I could make it every day Something was missing I still thought the same I had this parallel thought process on one hand I had the selfish the fearful resentful and judgmental fighting with the patient loving tolerant thoughts but that was as far as it went I was still in so much pain Torn between what I wanted and what I thought God wanted My inner critic was kicking my butt I had so many rules standards judgments and fears I didn t outgrow fear I converted it into a prison of politeness superiority and judgment While deep down inside I still felt inadequate afraid and lonely The question is how did all of this change The fact that I am writing this proves that although I was closer to drinking that I had ever bee
37. uld further injure them or another person We are willing or pray for the willingness to become willing to make the amend if we could This should also be discussed with others practicing this way of life because we are very good at justifying just about anything A A A If the case is that they cannot be seen we write them an honest letter We don t delay if it can be avoided We do not have to be scrapping but we do have to be sensible tactful considerate and humble 24 Directions for Steps 10 1i From pages 84 88 of the Big Book Alcoholics Anonymous Step Ten suggests we continue to take personal inventory and continue to set right any new mistakes as we go along Continue to watch for selfishness dishonesty resentment and fear Step 4 When these crop up we ask God at once to remove them Steps 6 amp 7 We discuss them with someone immediately Step 5 and make amends quickly if we have harmed anyone Steps 8 amp 9 Then we resolutely turn our thoughts to someone we can help Love and tolerance of others is our code Step Eleven suggests prayer and meditation We shouldn t be shy on this matter of prayer We believe we can make some definite and valuable suggestions When we retire at night we constructively review our day Were we resentful selfish dishonest or afraid Do we owe an apology Have we kept something to ourselves which should be discussed with another person at once Were we k
38. yer as stated in the Big Book on page 63 God I offer myself to Thee to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt Relieve me of the bondage of self that I may better do Thy will Take away my difficulties that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power Thy Love and Thy Way of life May I do Thy will always Try this exercise to be done after you ve decided to turn your will and your life over to the care of God as you understood God Write your own Third Step Prayer As the Big Book says on page 63 The wording was of course quite optional so long as we expressed the idea voicing it without reservation Examples can be found on previous page YOUR prayer can be read to your sponsor spiritual advisor or a friend expressing the idea voicing it without reservation before we say the Big Book s Third Step Prayer together as a group Mile L RESENTMENT INVENTORY PROMPT SHEET Here is a list of people institutions and principles that may be helpful in your resentment inventory Feel free to add to the lists if you need to PEOPLE I Father Step I Mother Step LI Sisters Step 2 Brothers Step I Grand Father Step J Grand Mother Step Q Aunts Q Uncles L Cousins LI Clergy Q Police L Lawyers I Judges _ Doctors LJ Employers L Employees Q Co Workers Q In Laws _ Husbands Q Wives L Creditors L Childhood Friends L School Friends _ Teac
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